Seekers

It might always be a mystery, that thing, whatever spark of light pierces through blackened nothingness to create the first of the many unforgettable, the everlasting. It had to be clever, as it crafted a void into his youthful consciousness. It didn’t ask which memories to keep. Without his consent it illuminated this ambiguous reply, without authenticating a firm query. It would seem random at the time; just an unattached, unstitched patch of fabric on a colorless blanket of life experiences yet to be had, an unfamiliar image blinking around aimlessly however, the lines of the stranger’s face held meaning. Maybe it was because he had a melancholy expression. The corners of his mouth were curved downward. The cords of his tempestuous, grey colored eyes were purposeful and fixed on the pathless forest ahead. This man was running with a boy secured at his chest, his granite arms extending from the peaks of his broad shoulders. Even so, there was nothing cold about this solid protracted body. It was warming the child. This scene was imprinted into the recesses of this young boy’s mind, forming a permanent mark.
There were other remarkable things, the sparkling sun across thickening browns and greens as they entered through the woods. Sometimes it felt like they flickered through the trees. He was that fast. The child, almost two years of age was cheerful and contented, idly scanning the man’s face. His wide eyes -- the glow in them was unsettled as he whispered to try and stay quiet. They wouldn’t be heard. They couldn’t. He hadn’t meant for his voice to crack but it signaled to the pain he must have been feeling from a wound that could not be seen.
Small hands extended upward, with tiny fingers sometimes inadvertently touching his smooth sandstone skin. The boy reached up to meet the contour of his defined jawbone. Sometimes these fingers distracted him and he looked down, expressing an even greater sadness in those unfading lines of memory. He found the spot he was looking for and he had no energy left to continue. They stopped by a tree. It looked no different from the others they’d passed, but there was a lake close-by and the sun was setting. It wouldn’t be the only ending nearby.
The inexplicable man gripped the base of the tree with one free hand, still holding the child with the other. He steadied himself then slunk down to his knees. The boy held on as he positioned himself, sitting with his back against the stump. The toddler clung tightly to the garment he was wearing, his small fingers clenched, wrinkling him. Young, curious eyes flashed to the blue and white fabric now and then caught with a hard golden emblem protruding from the velvety material underneath it. He wanted to touch it, so he did, overlooking shaky breath. He was oblivious to the trembling body next to him. The man sighed and leaned his head back.
The sun pushed out a solid ray of light, streaking through the trees including the one that sheltered them and it gleamed across the man’s face. His head lifted. He winced, tightening those once turbulent grey eyes. They had turned a clouded white, foggy. And his face, consisting of long interesting lines and connecting threads contorted for an instant as he let out a guttural sound. Those once perfect cords of his eyes stretched out. The corners of his ample mouth met the high planes of his cheeks as a grumbling gasp escaped them. His stone form had altered. The boy’s innocent cheerfulness disappeared.
The modified sound stirred something in him, maybe, some mild fear. All he knew was that he was not the same, even as he smiled weakly over at him. "I’m sorry." He moaned. The youngster couldn’t comprehend him. "…but as long as you are safe..." His dense, wet orbs touched with the boy’s. He patted his head like a father would. His heavy hand felt surprisingly gentle. Words that held no meaning to the child then would haunt him later. As minimal as they were, it was last testimony of a dying nameless savior.
His heart stopped, the shape of his existence would move no more. There was nothing left. His body vanished within seconds. The child had no idea what to make of it. It must have been a dream. It must have never really happened even though it was the end of a life, the beginning of his, or at least his first surviving memory.
He fell asleep on the soft emerald bed of bladed grass, above the toughened roots; wrapped in the clothes the man left behind in his escape. And then woke in the night welcomed by unusual echoes, sounds of the new, and unknown. He searched for something he could identify with but even the shining lake was gone. No, not gone but masked by the darkness. The air around him picked up with a chill. Real fear shivered through the boy, not the questioning kind. The kind that was imperative enough to jolt him to tears. He was truly alone. There would be no one to carry him to a safer place. The quiet, sturdy man was gone now. The reality of his situation was dawning on him, as small as he was.
That’s was when he heard what can only be described as the most serene sound anyone anywhere probably would ever hear. Not because it was mesmerizing or that it had a distinct and lovely intonation. It was because it proved he wasn’t alone anymore. His tears stopped. It wasn’t one singular voice. It was a conglomeration. "Come, child. Follow the light. We’ll protect you." He didn’t understand the inlet of sewed up sound rolling together, the vocabulary, but he didn’t care. It was the only offer he had. He pushed him self up from his weak palms, rising to stand, wobbling as his feet tried with great effort to plant themselves firmly on the grass.
He walked toward it. This thick obscure illumination had a hand, like his own and it was extended in his direction. He would grab it. He didn’t know where it came from. He hadn’t seen it before but was it possible that the man just found this light before he had? Did this very light take him away? If he went toward it would he find him? It read his thoughts. "He’s gone, child. He asked us to take care of you." It said in a disembodied hum. The minute his fingers touched the light he felt a surge of power, and this radiant white mass fractured. It didn’t splinter into sharp edges, instead it made what he was seeing bubble and distort. The air liquefied to his surprise. What was it? He was too curious and it was too late to pull away. He didn’t want to. He was lifted into the substance, beyond the invisible screen.

All the moments before he entered Nanashi were like a peaceful slumber even though it included his first surviving flash of consciousness, the stone man, running, flickering, the vanishing, and the tears. It ceased to hold the same awe as it once had in that moment. For once he was inside, beyond the light, everything changed. The canvas of his mind twisted and expanded with pallets of bright color. This space once filled with only questions now tried keeping up with the answers which he was being given in the form of crystal clear images transmitted into his consciousness and then there was the voice inside his head. "You’re safe here, with us." He tried to make sense of what his eyes were seeing. They were still in the forest but it had altered. Instead of there being no one, there were many. Figures, murky and yet somewhat translucent hid in the darker folded shadows, hung from the trees. There was one distinct shape standing in front of him. It was a woman with long golden tresses. She held a newborn baby in her ghostly arms. Her black eyes were clear and distressing. The boy wondered if it was her voice he was always hearing at first but then she spoke. "No. It is us. We are connected." When her mouth opened, the collection of sounds spilled out of her thin opaque lips. Finally he understood the language, but he couldn’t manage to think of how. He didn’t question it. It felt like their knowledge passed through him, like she’d handed him an instrument that instantly deciphered the normally incomprehensible. There were questions, but the words to form them he hadn’t known yet. He still hadn’t found a voice that would be his own.
Time moved slowly as he aged but before he knew it, eight years had passed. He grew up there. In the hallway, the simple child-like inner place that was so obviously present before he entered had quaked underneath him -- It cracked open and then mended again as his thoughts had became their thoughts. He accepted that course, this way of life as it were, pulled into a ghost world behind an invisible sheath, protected and he was bestowed with the ever present collective. His body was absorbed into Nanashi. He never experienced hunger or exhaustion, like the people he’d seen passing through the woods on their journey to whatever place. He couldn’t ask where they were going, as they couldn’t see or hear him. He made no fuss at all about it although as time passed he felt restlessness building inside of him. He was too young to get into profound conversation with the others here but even if he did want to, he felt an odd sense of apprehension coming from Nanashi ever since he’d asked her who he was. She just pointed to the center of his chest where a rounded marking on his body was located. "Your body knows the answer to that question better than I." She called it his memories scar. His curiosity was drowning in more questions and yet still he continued to remain silent for years. All he really knew was what they called him – Ashe. He watched carefully as the things around him very rarely changed. The only thing that did was him.
He didn’t just exist…no, he too was evolving, growing. With his limbs lengthening inch by inch, the progression seemed slow. Compared to those around him, he felt like he was an oddity. There were no children, like him self. From time to time, he wondered where the baby in Nanashi’s arms went. He wanted to ask but he still refused to speak. He wasn’t used to it. It wasn’t a necessity. They could hear his mind. He was part of them even though he knew that didn’t necessarily belong there. He knew that much, as young as he was. He didn’t belong. That’s how he knew himself to be, a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit and yet he could not ever leave this place. This place…
What is it? Where was I exactly? Was it a place inside of another? Was there more beyond the trees?
He stared out at the lake. He was filled with an unspeakable void. Nanashi was a place and a consciousness, a person but really…
He always identified the name of Nanashi with the recurring slender blonde woman with black eyes. It was in that moment that she appeared behind him. He could feel her. He turned to find her, standing against the tree. Because they were now always connected, she could read his thoughts. He knew that. She unexpectedly looked at him with a half smile, as if anticipating it, as if knowing this was the time. "This is your home, Ashe." She spoke clearly, succinctly.
But where exactly was home?
"You are at the bordering territory between the Amiculum and the Prism gateway." Before he could ask what both were, a burst of light blinded him. As a flood of images entered his mind she continued. She showed him everything as she spoke. "The realm of our entire existence is called ‘the cape’, otherwise known as the veiled dimension, the first and the last of all worlds. It was birthed from all the basic elements in nature and then over countless millennia it evolved along with all the people in it into what it is today. We, you and us, inhabit the forest here. We are Nanashi." She had a slow way of speaking, very deliberate, as if holding back more.
Nanashi?
"Yes, Child."
Where did that man go?
Her expression seemed sad. "He is gone…fallen…reborn…most likely."
Reborn?
She knew without any confession from him that he was lost to her words. Reborn? How could he conceive of such a thing at that age? His existence was enough of a burden to work through. Where he was…even though she told him, he couldn’t really grasp it…yet.
Who am I?
The visual descriptions came in a whirl, still frames of two people, the man who brought him here – this time he was smiling, staring over at a beautiful woman who looked much like the figure several feet away. Ashe eyed the ghostly copy before him perplexedly.
"She was your mother, not I. This was her form. I thought maybe it would be comforting." She explained in a monotone voice. He accepted it but inside he wasn’t thankful for the lie, the pretense.
Where is she?
"Dead, as is your father." For some reason the word dead, he understood. It was the way the word was spoken, as if it were a rigid and finite thing. He knew it meant never to be seen again…but it was still a confusing concept for him.
You used different words for my father. ‘Gone…fallen…reborn…most likely.’
"Forgive me. Really, in this place it can mean the same thing. I should be honest and say I can’t be certain. Coming here is not the same as leaving. There are different ways to go. Your mother…" Without any prodding, she communicated the images that would end his innocence. Slow, carefully, each frame of light passing through his mind was of people, strangers, being massacred, including his mother and father in a war. War…he knew what that was before he ever knew who he was. She showed him events as they’d played out through her own eyes, but the images made no sense. As he watched the play act out in his mind he felt a wetness travel down the length of his warm cheek.
He watched as his mother was literally torn in two. It was a quick death but the image seemed to slow down for him. The blood…the scream that escaped her lips was something unimaginably cruel, her delicate features tainted with pain. His father was there. He was part of the background, watching in horror as he himself had sustained injury in the same battle…To watch such a thing...
Why?
"No explanation I give you would bring you piece of mind. Who knows why beings war with each other? What makes it necessary to come to such an action?"
It was true. At that time, he wouldn’t be able to make sense of it but naturally as anyone would, he would try to come to his own conclusions. His father and mother were killed. If that alone weren’t enough, the realization that he would never know them had hit him hard. Without knowing them, he’d still felt an attachment, but more than that-- his identity was lost. He wondered then if the people who killed his parents would come for him too. And then the puzzle pieces came together. His father brought him here so that would never happen. Was I the only one remaining from my family? Who were they?
"I don’t have all the answers, Ashe. We don’t leave this place. We were only able to retain certain images through your father before he passed on. And we know about the people who guard the grounds here but we have limited histories stored. You see we’ve never been part of their society…we are lost spirits, from different dimensions. We can never be reborn but also we can never pass beyond this point, into the amiculum. We are locked inside this forest…forever." There was more to this. There had to be, although he was certain to never find out. He was here with them, sheltered inside…forever too?
Then what did my father save me for? This existence was somehow…not enough.
"If you step outside the screen you’ll surely be killed. Of that I’m sure." Her black eyes seemed fixed on his. "Isn’t that all that matters?"
No, he thought reflexively… and then adjusted his eyes to the ground. Well, of course it mattered, but then if he said that it seemed to be a waste. He felt ungrateful. He was consequentially saying that their existence here was forfeit. He didn’t want to believe that either. They never had to protect him and yet, they did. He trusted Nanashi enough to pretend that it wasn’t, on the surface. She knew of course that he wasn’t satisfied.
"You’re free. You’re alive." She said, as if that was enough. He was alive to do what? He existed to watch the lake, to count the moons as they passed by him?
Nanashi said that if he followed the phases of a moon he could calculate the months that passed and in turn; the years, then he had been here approximately eight. That meant he was roughly around ten. For those years he’d lived a life inside his own head. How long was the average lifespan? How much longer would this go on? He wondered.
"The lifespan of a soul is indefinite. No, it’s more than that. It’s eternal. I’ll admit most of us have experienced multiple lives and this was our destiny. It is our home." Again she mentioned these everlasting words and it never brought him comfort. Yes, Nanashi was his home too. He realized that.
I see.

And he did…"see". It was as clear as the sunset that day – that this was their destination. Ashe was living his beginnings at their ends. And that was only part of the problem. The sun was falling down ahead of him and yet there was a new flame inside. It was starting to vacillate, flicker off and on, licking at the edges of whatever other things resided, contained by this growing body. There was a thrashing, strident voice waiting to come out and this place was too peaceful for him. It wanted to leave, and so, he did, in the only way he could. He stood up then pushed his eyes away from the vision of the lake. He’d seen it too many times. He needed a different view. He ran in the opposite direction, away, as far as he’d ever gone. He knew every bump and crack in this verdant forest, but sought the unknown. He wanted hills beyond that had to have name. He wanted out of this nameless forest and unidentified existence. The anonymity of this life was stifling him. He ran and it was as though the animals of this forest knew the boy was harboring a pain inside that would crush everything in his sight, they scurried out of his way.
The cool air hit his face and the bustling of the trees around him reminded him that the lock on his prison doors was the proverbial kind, ones that couldn’t be broken with a hard fist or a steel jaw. If it was, he would have tried to break through but he couldn’t see it, no one could. It was inside him. No matter how far he ran it would always be this way. Even as he ran he tried to calm the intense emotions he was feeling but it was impossible. The expansion of energy wasn’t cathartic. It was allowing these feelings to flourish. The wooded debris snapped under his body weight as he sped, dodging branches and the sounds of life that resided here. As he headed straight through the trees in his way, he inhaled as deeply as he could and then exhaled with the same force. He choked back a whimper as the realization washed over him. The smell, he couldn’t escape it, whether he belonged or not, this was the place he’d always remember. His beginnings, no matter how much he’d hated the idea of it now. He would never be able to get far enough away.
He stopped suddenly as he found a more intensely lit area in his line of sight. He could see a dirt pathway beyond the end of the trees. It was about 20 meters away. Far enough that he could change his mind but close enough to tempt his already eager senses. He noticed it was like there was an invisible borderline. This was it, what he was looking for, a piece of this world he hadn’t discovered yet. He hadn’t dared to. He began walking steadily again. Just then he heard a twig snap over to his right. It was on this side. Someone was walking, no, more like running. He knew that sound. His first instinct was to hide but then immediately he remembered no one would be able to see him. He was safe. There was no need to panic.
A flash of light passed him then stopped. It was a tiny body; only slightly smaller than his own. He stood paralyzed as he saw the head turn in his direction. It was a girl with long black hair. The most alarming part was that he could see her eyes from here, clearly. They were like orbs of blue light, gleaming even though the sun never once touched her face. She had a serious expression, almost disturbingly so for someone so young but Ashe was more confused by the fact that she seemed to notice him.
She can’t see me. She can’t possibly…
He kept staring…waiting for her to turn away and keep on walking but she didn’t. They stood there, glaring at one another, waiting for something to change. They would probably be surprised to know that their thoughts were flowing along the same line. Their confusion was synchronized perfectly. Neither of them should have been able to see the other.
The young girl’s head cocked to one side. Her sight was fixed on the half dressed boy with intense grey eyes and quizzical expression. At the moment, his stare easily rivaled hers, in fact, it had more stamina. It was almost intimidating and she was tempted to look away from his piercing gaze. Where had he come from? She felt keenly interested but she shouldn’t stop. She was already in trouble. She was running away from home. She’d committed to it. She couldn’t stay in her father’s house a single second longer. However, her thoughts betrayed her plan. Can this boy see me? She thought, snapping her eyes shut in disbelief. She opened them again and looked around. She was well aware of her surroundings. She was in the forbidden, un-named forest of Nanashi. Her family members were the guardians of the nearby grounds and it included this wooded area. She was never allowed to come here. She was warned, told the ghosts of unforgivable souls lived in this place. Was this boy a ghost? He looked real enough to her but then again, a soul was indeed "real" no matter how you looked at it. …but he still shouldn’t be able to see me, she thought. She had even cast an invisibility spell so that no one would see her break out of her family home. It was even getting dark, so it should have been doubly effective and yet…
"Cc-can…you…see me?" the boy spoke and the dark haired girl noted it was as if it was his first time doing so. She was right but more importantly his question confused her.
"Of course I can." She said, stepping toward him.
When she moved forward Ashe took a step back. He was leery. He now heard Nanashi’s voice in his mind. If you step outside the screen you’ll surely be killed. Of that I’m sure.
Everything was happening rather quickly. He didn’t know what to think. What about if he hadn’t stepped out of the screen and still was seen? What then? He asked himself. Though the voice inside his head was warning him to get away he wouldn’t move. This was the first time anyone outside the collective consciousness of this forest was able to see and hear him.
"What are you?" he asked. It was strange hearing his own voice, sounding out the words he’d heard over and over again. He was used to just thinking something and receiving an answer directly. This was different. He felt relief. He was an individual in this girl’s presence, separate and truly free. Despite the effort required to communicate he still wanted more of it. It was new and he’d finally found the voice he’d been searching for. He was able to use it now.
"I should be asking you that. How is it that you can see me?" she asked him. Her question perplexed him. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? He thought. Now he was cocking his head to the side searching her face for an answer. "Of course I can see you. I see everyone who passes through this forest. Nobody has ever seen me though…except..." He stopped thinking back for a moment. "…well, not in a long time." He finished.
Her eyes widened. "You…you really are a ghost then." She had never been face to face with one. This was the first time. Her father had told her it would eventually be a part of her job to deal with the spirits passing through the prism world but she’d never imagined it would be like this. He looked normal, as if he was just like her. It was disturbing.
He didn’t answer her. He just stood there, not sure how to respond. He knew he wasn’t a ghost but he also knew he shouldn’t divulge any information to a stranger. It was then that the girl’s eyes caught with the marking at the center of his chest. Her eyes opened even wider, this time in fear. "Ashe." She whispered, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. Ashe was shocked as he heard his name fall from her lips.
To the girl it was like she was not only seeing a ghost but a monster. She turned pale white. She was visibly frightened. This boy had a symbol on his chest that she knew all too well. Her father had told her about these people. He was clearly a member of the white dragon clan.
They were thought to have been annihilated in battle years ago. Every last one of them was either dead or run out of the Amiculum or so they thought. This boy was the last of the clan or had there been more? She looked around the area. Was he by himself? Her mind kept saying she must leave but her feet were firmly planted here for the time being, with the half dressed grey eyed Hakuryuun boy staring at her blankly. She had a finger pointed at his chest. "How did you know?" His eyes focused on her finger curiously. He, while remaining silent, looked down where her eyes were focused.
"Oh, my memories scar." He said, looking up at Kiri’s face curiously.
"Memories scar?" the girl asked removing her hand slowly. I shouldn’t be speaking to him like this, she thought, I should run and get my father. Still, no matter what she thought, her body reacted in opposition.
"Nanashi said this was how I would come to find out who I am." He was speaking of Nanashi like it was one single person instead of a place.
"Who…you…are…Nanashi did?" she asked confusedly. He’s named the spirits here and put them into one body.
"Yes. She told me my body knew the answer to that better than she did." And the collective body was a woman. It was a clever way ‘she’ put it to a little boy who seemed to have no idea what it meant.
"You mean you don’t know?" this fact tugged at something inside her. In truth, everyone in the Amiculum had a branding specific to their clan. It wasn’t to remind the wearer but to remind everyone one else. Even those highest positions of court had it at the nape of their neck but the dragons were different. Their powers were to be feared and loved among even the highest nobility. To wear a symbol on your chest in the Amiculum meant there was no shame in your identity. To have it imbedded in the back of your neck meant that there was one higher power above you. It meant that your duty to the law here came before yourself. It was respect. For so long it had been that way. The human souls with their minor powers who lived in the Amiculum had a branding as well, on their wrists. It meant they lived their lives in servitude, with their hands. This meant the offering of that part of their bodies to the will of the society forever.
"Do you have a memories scar too?" the boy asked curiously as he watched the expressions on her face with intrigue. Her face is interesting, he thought. Already he noticed whatever she was thinking appeared in her expressions quite easily. She seemed uncomfortable.
"Me? I do, but…" she seemed apprehensive. Her pretty blues eyes were softening finally. "It’s different from yours." She said.
Of course it was different. They were from two different places, different mothers, different powers and different worlds even though they lived under the same sky.
"So what?" he said innocently. "Show it to me." It seemed he had no fear, even while being taught that he should keep hidden this whole time, that he’d be killed or did he understand the danger he was in at all?
"Maybe…another time." She said, turning away from the little boy.
"Don’t go." He said. The voice that seemed so carefree about the differences between a complete stranger and himself had cracked just a little. The eyes that seemed intense and fearless were lost. He was a little boy after all. He stepped forward this time. She could hear the wooded debris crunch under his feet. "Stay there." She turned to him briefly. "Stay hidden. Don’t follow me whatever you do. I’ll come back, no matter what." She said. At first, when she saw him she thought out of habit that she should tell her father but the more she looked at the boy standing there she was convinced he wouldn’t understand what she witnessed that night.
"What’s your name?" his question hung in the air a moment before she answered.
"Kiri…Kiri Karasuma." She whispered. Again, with every single answer she gave, every word she spoke to this child who could be no older than she was, she was defying her father. Then again, running away was also a forbidden act. Furthermore, she knew that if she told anyone about the Ashe boy he’d somehow find out, he’d have him killed and then scold her. Her father followed only one thing and that was the ways of the counsel. That was their duty, their cross to bear. At her young age, she may not have known the severity of what she was running from when she disobeyed her family but she knew the minute she met this boy that even her almighty father had times when he was wrong. If the Karasuma house was responsible for reading a soul, Kiri was certain there was nothing evil about that boy. Why should he pay for other’s mistakes? Where was the justice in that? No, she wouldn’t tell her father and what’s more she would head directly home. Her plan to run away had dissolved. She still didn’t know why exactly but she wanted to see the boy in the nameless forest again.

The lights were still off in Kiri’s home as she approached the dreaded mansion, the confines that sheltered her since birth; the very place she tried running from. She could tell from where she was positioned even as she was moving, as her leather clad feet hit the dirt pathway right outside the forest bordering the grounds of the Karasuma house. It would be as though she’d never left. Still, she should be as discreet as possible. Her body disengaged with the soil beneath her, pushing her forward through the air smoothly, quietly. The invisibility spell shouldn’t have worn off yet. The only reason that boy, Ashe, was able to see her was because of what he was, not because the spell hadn’t worked. She was sure of it now. She hovered, her body now flickering through the extensive grounds in front of an elaborate mansion that would be her family’s residence. She cringed as she realized she’d aborted a dire personal mission all for the sake of some stranger with deep set, innocent grey eyes. She didn’t want to come back here but it was the only way. She searched her brain. Why had it been so urgent to get away from home in the first place? Why had she stopped? Was she really that impulsive? Was it as her father said? That she was a disgrace? That she’d end up like her mother? Did she react without thinking again? She gripped the framed archway of the foyer as she thought about what had just happened.
The minute she saw Ashe’s face, the rush to leave had disappeared but as soon as she’d entered the dark wood paneled foyer she remembered again. Those feelings of disdain came back to her sharply. She looked around to the left, finding the sturdy stairway made of smoothened chestnut. It opened at the top into more darkness. The lights were off and the night that spilled in through the windows concealed the truth about this house. During daylight it would reveal the plain white walls of every hallway and every room. The smell was much like an infirmary, only a ward for the terminally ill. Death. It was clearly a dead smell, Kiri thought, even though she admitted it wasn’t exactly like rotted flesh. It was more like a rotted core, the silence, the decaying of the soul, much like what happened to her mother. There was nothing warm about this place anymore since she’d been gone. The stairway was calling her name. She knew where it led, to the bed chamber that had harbored her since she could remember. She looked straight ahead into the quiet. There were double doors leading to the dinner hall. There was nothing and no one there but she was conscious of the layout. This house, as peaceful as it was, was killing her. It wasn’t the fault of the structured wood. It was her father, her family name, this existence that troubled her so deeply. And now she was afraid of never being able to leave.
She could feel the weight at her shoulders again and in her heart. She’d thought for a second about heading into her mother’s room and telling her what had happened but it would only make matters worse. She was in no condition to handle this news and who knew how she’d reacted. Oh, Kiri knew how she’d react. She wouldn’t. It was like talking to a doll. Pain stung Kiri’s chest as she realized how badly she’d missed her mom. Since she was about five years old when her mother, Setsuna, had changed drastically, it was almost like she had died. Her mother was in a catatonic state, unable to speak at all. She didn’t even acknowledge the presence of others, as if she’d escaped to a world without them. She didn’t even respond with her eyes, as if the spirit inside her had been vanquished. Her father, Yoshi, explained to both Kiri and her brother that it was the war, the blood shed. It was more than she could handle. It took its toll. That might have been part of the reason but not all. There was no doubt that since the war’s end she’d acted strangely. She’d slowly lost her mind and then one day, actually the very day the counsel informed her she was of no use to them any longer that she snapped. It was also the day Kiri’s father had told her that she would be the successor. He was holding the position for her until she came of age but the truth was, she didn’t want it.
She floated again, this time up the stairway so the creaking of the wooden steps wouldn’t alert anyone to her break in. Curse that boy and his eyes too! What was he to her? Nothing! She reflected. Still something inside her was stirred awake thinking about him. He looked so lonely and yet…
‘So what? Show it to me.’
He was so open, not like the others. She felt alienated from the world of her peers. She’d very rarely made a friend. The other kids her age had always looked at her as if there was a dividing line between them. There was, she supposed. It was why her father and Uncle Gideon had taken her out of school. She’d begun training and schooling under Gideon’s direct supervision. He became her private tutor. He’d noticed it too. The whispering behind her back, in the hallways about her family, her crazy mother, and the fact that she’d looked just like her. She’d take her place one day. It’s not what she wanted but that wasn’t the issue at hand now, was it? It was hers whether she wanted it or not. It didn’t matter. Her dreams were futile, but a part of what she wanted she inwardly admitted was someone that wouldn’t look at her like she was the next high priestess of the amiculum. She wanted a friend. She wanted to be a child, some normalcy if you will; whatever that was. She reached the top step and looked down the long hallway. It felt more like she was walking herself into an execution chamber instead. It occurred to her in that moment that she still had a chance to leave again and never look back but…those eyes were stopping her even now. It was as if she was given an option, a fork in the road that led to the same place. She’d been handed a double-edged sword. The end of this hallway led to her ‘death’ but also to Ashe, this new person, the tiniest light of hope. She wanted to know what it would be like for once, to experience equality. She could have it with him she felt. He knew nothing of who she was.
She could keep this secret for herself but she’d have to also do what her father told her and then there was the matter of Kavi, her younger brother by 3 years. She couldn’t leave him, not alone, not here. If she did he’d have to take up the position and she knew she didn’t want him to suffer. He was even more fastidious than she was. With that thought in mind, she crept forward again, quickly. Finally she reached the doorway of her room and sighed. She opened it. It didn’t take her long to notice a shorter, narrow figure standing at her window on the other side of the room. The boy turned. It was Kavi. His blue orbs of light much like hers, staring back in her direction. His cheeks were stained with tears. His dark blond hair tousled. He was a mess, as usual.
Kiri closed the door behind her. "What are you doing in my room?" she whispered.
"I’m always…in your room." He replied sharply, sniffing away at the tears, not even bothering to lower his voice. "Are you leaving?" he asked, looking into the eyes of his sister, trembling. "Don’t leave! I promise I’ll be good from now on." He said desperately.
She moved forward, guilt stinging her young heart. "I’m not leaving. I won’t."
"You were. I saw you." He accused. He was always so very observant.
"Don’t leave me with him. If you go, take me with you. Please Kiri." He ran into her arms, starting to sob again. Why hadn’t she thought of that sooner? She wasn’t alone in this. This boy felt it too and she was a fool for not considering that. She’d always known she could be selfish and this was the proof. She realized couldn’t ever leave her brother.
"It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me." He pulled away, rubbing his eyes. "He’s always yelling at you, even when…when I’m the one…" he couldn’t catch his breath. He was referring to earlier tonight. "It’s okay, brother. It’s not your fault." She explained. But he still felt guilty about today’s earlier episode. Kavi, her mischievous little brother had done something completely unforgiveable in the eyes of their father. "I only wanted to give the dog water. It was…it was crying." He explained through relentless tears. His bottom lip was shaking. It made Kiri’s heart break as she remembered what had happened. It wasn’t his fault. It was hers.
Kiri was responsible for picking her brother up from school after training these days. She waited out by the gates this afternoon but Kavi never came out. It was a hot summer day. Maybe he noticed she was running late and decided to go inside to wait, she remembered thinking earlier. Sometimes Kavi would decide on his own to leave ahead of her, thinking he’d catch her on the way but still he never found her. That’s what he did. He went ahead. Along the pathway back to their grounds they passed through the tiniest neighboring village in the amiculum called Sienrisa. In that village there was a very dilapidated looking yellow house with a dirty white awning. There were weeds where the flourishing garden should be and the screen door was half broken. They knew it to be the Mason household, a human family who’d resided here for a long time, longer than they’d both been alive. They were very kind but also just as poor. They had a dog, a grey and brown colored mixed breed of wolf and German shepherd. They felt sympathy for him. Every time they’d pass it, the dog would cry and scratch at the fence, almost like he was calling to them. They’d normally pass by it but the pangs of guilt always followed. They’d been threatened by their father never to go there. They’d asked if they could help them a bit with some food and water, but no…Yoshi Karasuma would hear nothing of it. If they helped one family they’d have to help them all, he said, and so they normally would keep going against their better judgment.
By the time Kiri caught up to her brother this afternoon however, he was standing on this side of the fence, with his palm extended toward the dog’s paws. He had a face of longing. She called to her brother. He looked over at her, dropped his school bag and ran away. "I’ll be right back." He yelled out. Kiri stared at the dog as it came toward her. Even as big as he was, he was cute as a button, with wide brown eyes and a sweet face. A smile spread across her lips. What was the harm in giving the dog water, she wondered. Kavi came back with a pitcher of water he bought of a local merchant about 10 meters away. Mrs. Mason noticed them outside and immediately recognized them. She let them into the gated lawn so they could give the dog the water personally. A few minutes of satiating the pet’s thirst turned into an hour as Kavi began playing with their newfound canine friend. The dog was rolling around with him, licking his face. Kavi looked so happy and it was so infrequent that these kinds of moments happened, Kiri didn’t push to leave. The time did come however. Mrs. Mason thanked the children and they went on their way.

When they arrived home, their father was waiting. They were late. Kiri knew the punishment would come. He stayed seated, with legs crossed, as they entered the doors to the left of the dining hall which led to the large sitting room. Kiri’s father was a tall man, lanky almost with wide black eyes. He was intimidating. People always wondered if he was really their father, since the two children looked nothing like him. It was clear Setsuna’s genes were the dominant kind. Both children had the pale eyes, and delicate features that came along with the Karasuma family lineage. Dominant, yes, it made sense…their last name wasn’t even his. Their mother had been the one with the famous name and power to go along with it.
He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips together before speaking. "You’re over an hour late." He said, stating the obvious. He was definitely sharp, that father of theirs, she thought. Kiri rolled her eyes which always immediately set his attention on her first. "Do you have something to say, Kiri?"
"Not especially." She snapped, folding her arms. "I apologize, father. It’s my fault. I was late leaving training and therefore made Kavi late coming home with me." She knew better than to mention stopping at the Mason’s.
Suddenly Yoshi began sniffing the air. Instantly Kiri realized what would happen. This house was too clean, she thought with a wince. He’d smell the dog for sure.
"Kavi, come here." Their father gestured with one finger, leading it back to where he sat. Kavi looked up at Kiri, as if to seek for permission. "Don’t look at her. I said come here." He demanded.
The boy made it three quarters of the way before he was being pulled by the neck of his school shirt. Yoshi smelled the skin of his neck then pushed him away in disgust. "After I told you both never to stop at the Masons, you did anyway, didn’t you?!" his voice soared higher. He was staring directly into Kavi’s frightened face. He looked like he was about to strike him.
"Leave him alone! It’s my fault, father. It was my idea!" Kiri clarified.
"Your idea? Of course it was! It’s always your dim-witted ideas getting both of you into trouble. Always doing whatever you want! Never following the rules!" He howled, his fury overwhelming them as his voice began to echo through their ears. Kiri was prepared. She knew all too well what was coming.
"The dog was thirsty! I didn’t see what would be the harm!" she answered, but she knew it wouldn’t be settled with that kind of explanation.
"’You didn’t see what would be the harm’? Do you know how many of our people go without their basic needs being met? People, Kiri! You’re giving dogs water! Food? Water? It’s not uncommon for those to go without those things, especially animals! We can’t feed everyone and every thing in need! It’s a shame but not your responsibility. And what’s more? I told you NOT to get involved with them! You disobeyed a direct order!"
"And I’d do it again!" Kiri snapped back at him. He paused inhaling slowly.
"Brainless, Insolent, head strong, and disobedient -- all the makings of a fallible leader. What stands before me cannot be the future head priestess." He shook his head, making the statement with a fervent conviction as he then looked straight into his daughter’s eyes.
"Brainless?" she questioned him. Her voice cracked.
"Do you know what makes you brainless, Kiri?" he answered the question with another. She looked at him, her eyes searing into his. Her bottom lip was quivering. The pain of his words had stung although she was trying to keep her emotions at bay.
"You’re too impulsive! I blame your mother. You think with your heart but you have to learn it’s worthless to have a heart! You can’t afford it. Your body is not your own. That body is a vessel for the reformation of your people. It’s a tool with great powers, not to be used for your own frivolous feelings." He scoffed at the word feelings. "That’s your duty. Part of that duty includes some very difficult decisions. What’s more important in the grand scheme of things? A thirsty dog or following the rules which ultimately leads to the greater good? You need to do what you are told to do." He explained. Kiri wondered for a second what exactly he was talking about. She didn’t understand what this had to do with the dog.
"But it was just giving a dog some water. I don’t see what it has to do with my duty?" she replied passionately.
"It’s all tied together. Don’t you see? You have to start from now! Don’t ask questions! Just follow the rules!" It was his final word just before giving her a lashing she’d always remember. He made Kavi watch as he took a wooden ruler to his sister’s hands over and over until the skin reddened, cracked and bled. He spoke as he gave the punishment of course, warning Kavi never to be like his sister. Kiri choked back tears but Kavi let them flow, begging him to stop. It was almost like Kavi took the beating with her. He cried, promised he’d never do it again until it was over.
It wasn’t his fault. Kiri would have taken the blame no matter what. She was older. She could have stopped him but she didn’t want to. She was fine with taking the beating. She’d do it again. She wouldn’t change her decision regarding the dog or the issue with her father, but it hurt inside. It was as if her father didn’t care about them. He only cared about duty, the future, following rules. Where was his heart? She was tired of it and that’s when she decided she wanted to leave. Her only mistake was not taking Kavi with her, but then he might have gotten into trouble again and she didn’t want to take that risk.
Back in the present, Kavi was still crying. Kiri pulled him by the hand to sit on her bed with her. She winced. It was fine to lift her fingers. The pain wasn’t so bad but the pressure of his hand in hers, no matter how small it was, crippled her for a minute. She brushed it aside. "I’m sorry I scared you. I shouldn’t have left without you. If I ever think of leaving again, I will take you with me." She vowed.
"You promise?" he asked looking up into her eyes.
"Promise." She smiled. "But you need to keep tonight a secret. Okay?"
He shook his head swearing to keep things just between them, as usual. She could trust him. She knew that. In fact, he was probably the only person in the entirety of the world who knew her through and through, accepted her faults and all. Her brother, Kavi, was the one person she had left who truly loved her. Her father’s conditions had made it impossible to feel his love. Kavi too had rejected their father and clung to her after their mother’s change. He probably didn’t have the same memories of Setsuna that Kiri did. It made her sad, sad because he would never know exactly what he’d missed.
The siblings fell asleep next to each other on Kiri’s elegantly draped canopy bed, exhausted from the long day that was now behind them. Their pale cherubim cheeks pressed together, their bodies wound tightly under the opulent burgundy satin sheets. Before Kiri woke in the morning however, her brother was gone. He knew once the sun came up he’d have to leave her side. He’d slip back into his room before the servants could find him. Their father didn’t want them sleeping in the same room. He believed it would be shameful for the siblings to rely on each other so heavily Yet another thing that Kiri had gotten in trouble for a few times over in the recent past. She’d been accused of babying her brother, subconsciously wishing to make him weak. Their father’s thinking of course. Kavi, at this young age was starting to learn he didn’t want to be a burden to the sister he admired so much.
The dreadful routines of the day would begin again. Tutoring and training with Gideon while her brother went to the private school he absolutely abhorred. Then she’d pick him up as usual after classes at the gates. Today was different in only one way. After dinner, instead of going into her bed chamber to study obediently, Kiri would sneak out to meet the young white dragon boy in the woods of Nanashi. She told Kavi of her plan to spend some time in the forest leaving out the fact of who she was meeting. It’s best he didn’t have all the details. The less he knew the better. He wouldn’t get into trouble that way. She’d of course bring her school books and some food, just in case he was hungry. It was exciting. She didn’t know what to expect. Just like the day before, Ashe was waiting by the same tree near the edge of the forest, closest to the dirt path at the bordering line.
"You really came." He said, wearing a relieved half-smile. She could tell he didn’t expect her to keep the promise.
"I said I would." She replied.
He bent his head forward in silence at her response, thoughtfully. His eyes had dropped to the ground suddenly. She stopped and looked at him more carefully. "Do you not want me here?"
His head snapped up and those grey eyes that Kiri had become instantly awed of found hers.
"I do. That’s not it." He looked past her, beyond the trees. "It’s Nanashi." He admitted reluctantly.
Kiri turned her head trying to follow his same line of sight, but saw nothing particularly impressive. "It’s dangerous to meet with you, to allow you here." He had continued.
The girl had a keen perception of things and understood. "She thinks I’ll betray you." She offered. "Let’s go find her and explain." Kiri took her free hand and reached for Ashe’s, only it slipped right through him.
The boy lifted his hand, stared at the palm of it for a second and then caught the girl’s startled expression.

"I forgot. You’re a ghost." She stated as the blood drained from her face.
He smiled. A flurry of confusion flowed through her mind at that reaction. Why would Nanashi be worried about this boy if he really were a ghost? It’s not like anything can happen to him here. This forest was protected, as were the spirits and nobody was permitted to enter here.
He sighed. "Can I trust you?" he asked. It sounded like he wanted to but was deliberating hard on the issue. He looked into her eyes, searching for the truth. It was strange that he had such an attentive look running through them. It reminded her of when Gideon was suspicious of her.
"You can. I haven’t told anyone about you, not even my brother." She stated honestly. There was a long pause as he watched her face. Then he smiled considerately as he realized she was slightly uncomfortable. He hadn’t understood why. Truth was, even though he was a kid like herself he didn’t act like one. It was probably due to the fact that he’d been alone all this time. His expressions were very straightforward and she could tell he wanted the same from her. It was difficult since she’d lived in a household where she had to conceal her emotions so much. She didn’t want to lie to him. She wanted him to trust her implicitly.
"I’m not a ghost." He declared; his expression serious.
"But, your hand…" she was clearly puzzled.
"That’s because I’m inside the screen with them." He clarified.
"You said she yesterday."
"She, them, it’s all the same thing. She speaks for them." He explained.
"I do." She replied, understanding it all now.
"Can they see us now?" Kiri asked curiously. He shrugged out a "probably", while she looked around the forest intently. She sensed them for sure even thought she didn’t want to but unlike Ashe they were hiding from her eyes. "Please trust me, Nanashi." She pleaded into the silence, her eyes darting around the trees aimlessly. "I understand why you protect him. I want to help. I’m…I’m not like my father, I swear." As she said the last sentence she felt a mixture of feelings. She was speaking to the forest of spirits her father did not approve of, as if she owed them something. Her father would be livid. They’d denied their true fate, refused a life among them. She knew that. It felt strange speaking to them that way but she also knew Ashe was a separate issue.
Ashe’s eyes widened and then narrowed quickly. "They trust you. They just think you’ll be followed by your father." He put it in plain words. "…and they don’t trust me." He grinned stepping forward, then looked around. "I can hear their thoughts." He pointed to his head to bring the point home.
"I don’t think my father would be able to see you like this." She said pointing to him again. "My brother, my mother, oh and Gideon would. We all have that power." She enlightened him.
"Power?" his interest was peaked.
"Ah, yes." She said nervously becoming uncomfortable again. This was always part of the problem when she tried to make friends. Her power freaked them out.
"Come on. I told you a secret. You have to tell me something now." He was pushing, but even so he didn’t hover over her waiting. He squatted, his eyes looking through the debris below, searching for something. He looked up at her for a second then away back to the dirt. This somehow made it easier.
"Promise you won’t act different with me once I tell you." Her tone clearly conveyed the trepidation of what would come once she said it. However, she was trying, hoping. He was different than anyone she’d met thus far.
"Act different? I won’t. I promise." This made him more curious however. There was an uncomfortable pause and then he heard her voice start again.
"Do you know how this world works, Ashe?" she asked first. She wasn’t sure what he knew, what Nanashi had told him.
"Some but not really." He admitted with a heavy sigh.
"The amiculum is what other dimensions, worlds, refer to as heaven, the afterlife." She spoke as if giving a tutorial and she was. It’s exactly how Gideon had explained it to her in one of their sessions. "We, you and I were born here but most of the people who have come here, have not. There are other places in the universe where they were born, for instance, Versperi or earth. When their shells or bodies give out there, their souls are reborn here, if their soul is worthy of that fate." She explained.
"Worthy? Who can tell whether someone is worthy?" he asked curiously. He was surprised at how much he didn’t like the sound of it.
"We do…my family and those who work for us. My uncle Gideon is the head of the prism world." she said with a hint of nervousness again. She could feel his apprehension at her explanation but he was good about it. It never appeared on his face. He bypassed the rest.
"Prism? I’ve heard that word before." He responded as if it brought some past explanation to the forefront again.
"Prism, like a band of color…only not really. When people die they come to that world first. It’s the gateway to here. In that place the ‘colors’ of the soul are seen clearly. It’s past and present. Everything is revealed, even its echoes. The soul is then judged by one of our people and it is decided whether they are reborn here, in another place, sent to abbadon or..." She explained, trailing off at the end.
Ashe didn’t seem to be concerned with the cut off sentence. His eyes flashed and he finally stood with a thin wooden stick in hand. It was about a foot long. "It sounds complicated." That was the only thing he could offer her considering all that she’d said. "So then your power…"
"I’m sensitive to spirits. I can see them, obviously and I…I can read a soul, the heart or at least that’s what Gideon says." She answered, seemingly unsure.
"The heart?" he stood, his eye brows narrowed and a crease formed at his forehead. Then like a wave of comprehension passed through him, his face relaxed as suddenly he seemed to understand. "Oh, the heart!" he smiled. Nanashi must have explained.
"So when you meet someone you can see the truth!" he exclaimed as if it was an exciting prospect. That was one way of looking at it, Kiri thought. "What about me? What do you see when you look at me?" he questioned with a child-like gleeful light emanating from his grey orbs. He looked into her eyes, waiting. Kiri blushed a little bit at his honest inquiry.
"Y-y-y…you’re a good soul." She stuttered out, pulling one of her hands behind her back in uneasiness. She still clutched the books and a small bag in the other. "I realized that right away, I think." He smiled at that. She looked down. "You don’t belong here." She whispered continuing her thought.
His eyes flashed again, this time a frown crossed his lips and his eyebrows narrowed. "What does that mean? I don’t belong here?" he questioned acutely.
She became confused at the angry feelings that were emanating from him. "You know what I mean. The others here aren’t like you."
"Are you saying something is wrong with Nanashi?" he knew all too well what she meant but he didn’t appreciated the insinuation nonetheless. Surprisingly he felt violated and insulted all the same. Even though he knew he didn’t belong it reminded him of the question he was always asking himself. Where had he belonged if not here where he’d been raised?
She could have lied and he wouldn’t know the difference but that’s not how she wanted to handle this. If she was going to try to be a friend to this boy, she was going to be honest with him. "Yes. Something is wrong with them."
He squared his shoulders as he scanned his brain for the proper words to reply to her. "You have nerve you know. You’re standing in the middle of our home slandering her. " He charged weakly, stating the obvious.
"This isn’t exactly a home!" Kiri rolled her eyes. "This is a forest on my land let me remind you." Somehow that didn’t come out like she wanted it to. She didn’t mean to act superior. She cringed as she realized that’s exactly how it sounded. Her words reverberated and she felt like slinking away.
That wasn’t what bothered him however. He was still fixed on other sentences.
"What’s wrong with Nanashi?! If this is not a home…" he shouted, signaling to his own confusion and a fury at her words. Who the hell did she think she was? He thought.
She felt defensive. She couldn’t exactly take back what she had said now. He wouldn’t stop until he knew what she meant. "You really want to know? Fine! I’ll tell you!" she huffed throwing her books to the ground along with the bag of apples she’d brought with her. She folded her arms across her stomach. Her blue and white shirt creased when it met with the thin forearms. She tucked her hands at her side. "Nanashi is an unforgivable nest of souls, Ashe. They chose to be!" she yelled, pushing her head forward, toward the boy. "Did they tell you that? Did they tell you they didn’t even want to be reborn? Did they tell you they were offered a chance at new life and refused? That’s why I’m not even allowed to come here!"

"So! Because they refused? Is that what your father told you?" he shouted. "If they’re unforgivable then so am I." he said processing her words finally.
The frustration inside her broke off as she realized she was indeed sounding like her father. She calmed down.
"No you aren’t. You didn’t choose this. I know you didn’t. It was the only option you had." She said softly, almost pleading her case. Ashe looked at her and now he knew that she really did have the power of the heart. It was like she was reading his entire history and they’d only known each other a day. Still he couldn’t allow her to insult the only mother he’d ever had.
"You’re right. I guess I wouldn’t call it a choice. Then again, the other option was being slaughtered like my mother and father!" he was raising his voice for sure but the anger was mixed now with pain and uncertainty. "You don’t really understand. Nanashi took me in. I’d be dead without her. If you can’t respect that, then leave." He said pushing his eyes to the ground.
She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay. She wanted to understand him. She wanted him to understand why she said what she said. She couldn’t help it. The poison her father spewed about Nanashi probably reached her psyche already. The way she thought probably wasn’t right. She knew that too. She didn’t mean it, not really. She was confused. She was caught between a boy she knew was good who lived in a territory she was told could only bring harm. Her father was on her shoulder, sounding off in her mind. He was whispering to her that the boy was consorting with an enemy. Maybe some part of her wanted to save him. She thought this was the only way.
"Ashe." She spoke his name gently, lifting her hands toward him. It was a reflex. She recognized the look on his face as one that needed comfort, even though she knew she couldn’t touch him.
As he felt her approach, his eyes lifted. A gust of wind pushed her away from him and she noticed his grey eyes had clouded into white. "Leave! Don’t come here again." He said resolutely. She knew he meant it.
Their eyes disconnected as she looked away. She stumbled as she bent down to pick up her books and then flickered away through the trees toward the dirt path. She stopped once she felt the soil beneath her again. She’d been rejected in other ways before but this time, somehow it felt different. She felt she had truly done something wrong.
Ashe watched her from where he stood. The white clouded orbs were touched with sadness and then the grey filtered out again. "What she said was true about us, Ashe. She didn’t exactly lie." The conglomeration of voices murmured in his head.
"She did lie. She said she wasn’t like her father." He whispered back. He knew without meeting him face to face that the word unforgivable was a word only her father would use to describe the beings that nurtured him. Ashe shared a consciousness with Nanashi. When a soul passed through this forest Nanashi could gather images from their mind’s eye. As the children spoke, Nanashi was sharing some of Kiri’s images with him. He’d seen pieces of her life without consent from her. Some of those images were of her father. Ashe didn’t like him. He had no heart.

Roughly a week had passed since Kiri and Ashe had spoken. Kiri made sure to avoid the forest of Nanashi entirely, even though she could see it from the front of her home. She tried to overloo k the fact it existed, struggled to forget she’d ever met a white dragon boy. She imagined the trees that she could see from the window of her second floor bedroom, as if they weren’t haunted by spirits. There was no life there, none that wanted her at least. It shouldn’t matter to her anymore but it was a lost cause. However hard she tried, she knew it was there and she knew he still existed too.
She was sure she’d offended them all and felt deep shame about what she’d said. She was mourning the flickering hope she’d felt after meeting with those grey eyes too. A day, that’s all it was. That’s how long she’d known about them, about him. To feel this way after such a short time was ludicrous. Still, she’d been trying to figure out how she could make right what went wrong, ever since he said never to come back. Him, what did he care? He was free. She envied him that. He wouldn’t need someone like her to pull her out of any sort of depression. He20had no prison to break out of like she did. This glass window might as well be steel bars, she thought. She let the drapes fall over the glass. It was pointless to stare. She walked over to her bed and threw her back against the embroidered blanket, sinking into the soft cushion of space.
They’ll never forgive me, she reflected, just like my father wouldn’t forgive me for acting so much like my mother. She couldn’t win. She wasn’t like him. She wasn’t like her either, not entirely. She was herself. She struggled with right and wrong. That’s what happened. She knew after thinking about it that she’d said something hurtful. She had made him think she hated Nanashi, that they were unforgivable, because somehow her father’s words escaped her lips. There’s no way he wouldn’t have included himself in with them since they are part of each other. Why did I say that? It wasn’t true anyway. Nanashi had to be good if they protected Ashe all this time. It’s just that he doesn’t belong there. He has a whole life ahead of him and he’s a good person. That was it. That’s all she meant. She knew he realized at least that much was true. Maybe if she just explained better but she didn’t know how to be that open about what was going on.
Ashe was busy throwing pebbles in the lake, allowing them to skid across, disrupting its normal stillness when Nanashi startled him with her voice. "How long are you going to carry on like this, child?" she asked like a worried mother.
"Like what?" he didn’t want to comprehend her. He wouldn’t even look in the direction of her voice.
"Your friend is sorry. She didn’t mean it. She’s pitiful you know?" Nanashi shuddered at the thought. "She has a great burden and she doesn’t understand."
"Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be on my side? I was defending you." He snapped. All Nanashi knew was that one single day had changed so much. In a day, he’d20become more like a flesh and blood person. He’d owe that to Kiri. He got angry. He spoke. He smiled in her presence for the first time in 8 years. Kiri didn’t know it but Nanashi did. He was honest with his feelings. In that short time she’d released him from the silence, and now with their first fight, he was being stubborn.
"Unforgivable…" he murmured under his breath. "Pfft. What does she know?"
"I showed you, didn’t I? She has no idea. That man has her mind twisted." Nanashi didn’t want the evil of this world to win out over the innocence she’d witnessed between these two children. They were too young to understand why they9 9d chosen not to join the society here but eventually they would. She wanted before that, for them to find a common ground. Ashe knew what Nanashi meant. He knew Kiri had a heart, even if her father didn’t. It stopped his anger yet again.
"She has a very strong power. You called what she can do, ‘seeing the truth’. You may be right. She can see the goodness or evil residing in a soul, the intentions of the heart but it’s not always so black and white. There are the grey shaded areas in life. There are people like us that don’t necessarily fit into one category. She has trouble with us the most. To them, to her father at least, if it’s not ‘good’, if there’s no set definition, if the intentions can’t be understood clearly, then it’s only written off as bad. You see, he’s dictated the bad for her, w ithout allowing her to rely on the skills she has for herself. He makes her doubt herself." Nanashi explained.
"But that’s wrong!" he exclaimed. "She needs to choose for herself." He huffed frustrated.
"She has. She doesn’t believe we’re evil in her heart, Ashe. You need to ask yourself why she came back here to find you. She kept your secret, even now." Nanashi smiled. "She is very confused. She looks very strong on the outside but she has a fragile side to her and they are preparing her for a very important duty. Unfortunately that means following the directions of her elders. That is why I say you must show her. Make her understand forgiveness through action. Actions are the only way to convey the absolute truth." She tried to make her vision of Kiri clear enough that he would understand.
Show her? He asked himself. "I’m not really sure how." He admitted.
"Forgive her. Be her friend. Listen to her. We all have flaws but forgiveness breeds humility, kindness, and understanding of others. She’ll need that on her journey." Nanashi said gently.
"But she might never come back here." He said under his breath and it hit him again that he didn’t want it to end that way. For whatever reason, he’d felt another void open up inside him since she left. He couldn’t feel like that forever. "I know!" he said his eyes becoming animated. "I’ll go to her." He broke out into a run, right past Nanashi.
"No, Ashe. Wait! You misunderstood me!" Nanashi echoed in his head. The only way he could go to her now is if he pierced the screen of protection. It was dangerous. "I’ll only be gone a few moments and its night time. They’ll never catch me."
On his way to the dirt path that led to the Karasuma house, Ashe questioned what he was about to do. All of Nanashi’s talk had soothed him, motivated him to act, and gave him courage to reach out. However, he had to admit as much as he sought the unknown, it made that thing beating inside his chest pound furiously. He remembered she said her father wouldn’t be able to see him so long as he stayed behind the screen. He was taking a serious risk. If he sees me, it will mean bad things, very bad, he murmured to himself closing his eyes. Leaving the screen wasn’t as hard as getting back in. In fact, Nanashi had told him after he did it once it would be even easier to leave. He’d be able to do it at will inside the forest, however, to separate himself from them the first time, all he has to do was step over the invisible borderline. Once his feet hit the soiled road he would no longer be part of this never changing forest.
He opened his eyes again. He wouldn’t look behind him. If he did he might not be able to do it. He might lose the will required to reach her. Was this important enough? Was the risk of being caught dire enough? Considering he’d never had a friend in all his life besides those beings in the dead zone of Nanashi, he supposed it was. He moved quickly now, pushing all thoughts aside; embracing the conviction that had brought him this far. It was night-time now. He had to be quick.

The minute his bare feet hit the blackened grey soiled trail that he knew was brown in the daylight, for the first time in a long time he felt the cold sweep over his skin. He hadn’t felt this way since he was a baby, just before being absorbed into the warm substance of Nanashi. At first it was comforting, like really being alive. So this is what it feels like, he thought. It was different. Strangely enough he was grateful. That was before it began gripping every inch of his body, rattling the stiffened bones20inside. He started to tremble and he hadn’t even taken another step forward. Now he looked back, into the thickened shadow of trees again. He could see the eyes, like dimmed headlights amidst the moonlight, vexed black orbs, watching him now as his teeth chattered. In truth I hadn’t considered this part at all, he reflected internally. He thought he could be quick, but this way, he’d never make it. He snapped his eyes shut, turning his head away from what he knew to be Nanashi’s haunting gaze. He tried remembering how it felt to be inside Nanashi -- that light feeling. How easy it is to move through the trees, as if he was the wind himself. He felt the warmth again beginning from his toes, moving up his legs towards his torso until the lightness spread through him. He grinned slightly as he imprinted this feeling somehow in his mind. When he opened his eyes the feeling stayed with him. He didn’t feel the dirt under his feet anymore. He looked down and realized his body was somehow levitating several inches above the ample terrain and his eyes widened. He knew the mind to be a powerful thing but this was ridiculous. Should he be able to do this? Really?
He started putting one foot in front of the other but quickly learned it wouldn’t fit well with this sort of traveling. He fixed his sight on the house ahead of him and then lifted his arm up instinctually pointing his fingers to the only open window. He then noticed a light shining on the second floor, but that window was closed. Open window or light? Which should I aim for? He asked himself. His body told him to head for the window but his mind had other ideas. He headed for the large mansion ahead. That light had to be Kiri’s room. Please, let it be Kiri’s room, he thought to himself.
Half way to the house, it started to rain.
Kiri could hear it. The sound of furious tapping on the window of her room woke her from a deep sleep, like even the walls of her unconscious mind was being pelted with pebbles. She sat up, immediately touching her fingers to her right temple. She had not intended on falling asleep. She was still in her blue and whites. No one had bothered her. What a miracle.
Suddenly she heard her name being called. She looked over at the double doors of her room out of habit, then over to the farthest window, the first she could find in her line of sight. The sound wasn’t coming from there either. Strangely enough although it was indeed raining, it wasn’t hailing at all like she’d guessed. She heard the loud tapping again and now she knew it was coming from the window closest to her. Her eyes widened as she saw what looked like Ashe’s face, plastered with wet strands20of his long sun-streaked light brown hair. At first she couldn’t move. She was too shocked for that. No, she thought she must still be dreaming. He couldn’t be here. It would mean he left Nanashi and she knew to her core he would never have done something that stupid for a girl like her.
"You… are you just going to sit there? I’m going to fall!" he shrieked unnerved. It was then that she realized she wasn’t dreaming. She would have never imagined those words. She stood, looking over her shoulder then made a dash to the window. She pulled up from the bottom ridge, on the underside of the cased glass still staring at his figure in disbelief. It was really him. She hadn’t yet grasped by this point, that he was holding himself in place with the window itself. If he wasn’t steady already, he was in trouble now. As the window opened, he fell back. The power he’d found earlier was gone now. All the strength he used to get here, across the front grounds had zapped=2 0him clean. Kiri realized this just as she saw his body slip. She lunged forward, extending an arm. He looked up and grabbed at the hand attached desperately. He still looked panic.
"I have you." She said unconvincingly just as there was a knock at her door. He was heavier than she expected.
"Your father might have seen me. There was an opening downstairs." He explained in a low voice.
"Hujin, its Gideon. I’m coming in." She recognized the rich sound of her uncle’s voice, but it wasn’t normal for him to be here at this time of night.
"Your father?" Ashe whispered still hanging from her weakening grasp.
"No but…" if he came in now, the secret was over. Even though Gideon was considerably more understanding than yoshi, she wasn’t sure she could escape punishment and who knows what would happen to Ashe. "Give me one minute, Uncle!" She yelled over her shoulder as she dug20her bare feet into the wooden floor. She was sure to get a splinter now as her toes curled down grabbing whatever strength she could from the lower half of her body in order to pull him up onto the frame of her window. Kiri slid back. Ashe’s hand was still firmly gripping hers. His still unsteady body tumbled forward and crashed onto her. It’s a mess, Kiri thought, looking into the big innocent grey orbs of light. He blinked at her. There he was in her home, half naked, dirty with long wild hair, wearing a symbol of her family’s most reviled enemy. If that weren’t enough, her uncle was at the door threatening to come in. "Kiri, what’s the meaning of this? Open this door immediately." Gideon’s voice was getting more agitated.
"Quickly." She said pulling Ashe up to his feet, legs wobbly. He was feeling lightheaded, especially when she strong armed him into the nearby closet. "No. he’ll check there." She whispered second guessing herself. She pulled him out of the closet with brute force hastily, causing his head to spin. She pushed him to the floor next to her bed. "Go. Under there."
Ashe looked up at her, red faced and delirious. "What is this?" he asked her speaking as low as he could manage.
"A bed. Who cares? Just hide." She answered matching his tone.
"That8 0s it, Hujin. I’m coming in." Gideon warned now. She could hear his hand twist the gold plated knob. The click as the door opened made her flinch. She looked over at the bed. She couldn’t see Ashe’s body any longer.
Her uncle’s toned six foot tall figure swathed in his signature white robe moved as deliberate as usual. He took one long stride then looked around the room, as his blind eyes began touching each piece of furniture with suspicion. This would be strange to those who didn’t know him, but Kiri knew as everyone in the amiculum did that Gideon had an internal ability. He cold see, even though his eyes failed him. He folded his hands together then moved forward, squaring his shoulders. He found Kiri, his current source of frustration.
"Gideon!" Kiri smiled widely. "I’m so happy to see you."
"You are?" Gideon knew his niece to be a particularly dark character, ill-tempered sometimes even on her best days. Her bright moods were pretty rare. "And why is that?" he said returning her transparent beam with a phony grin that touched the cords of his eyes, closing them. Suddenly a flash of awareness crossed his face, unsnapping the lines of his eyes, opening them sharply as he turned his face toward her bed. He cocked his head to one side, as he realized how familiar this presence was. Not only had he realized there was someone under her bed but he knew it could be only one of two classifications…both forbidden to enter this place.
There was a distinction between every soul. There were clearly defined characteristics of each type by way of temperature, smell and power. Demons had a bitter, wintry atmosphere, a chill radiating from the corners of their form and ironically they smelled of fire, burning wood or the like. It was hard to mistake. This wasn’t that smell. Humans were lukewarm, almost undetectable through their climate but their smell was of earthly, fresh soil. Empathic, spectral souls like him self and Kiri had a temperature slightly above humans. Their auras were odorless which held a peculiarity all its own. White dragons however, were on the other end of the scale entirely. The air surrounding them, emanating from their core was hot, like the sun, however they shared the same smell as humans. Human or white dragon, were the only possibilities.
Gideon disconnected from Kiri’s nervous stare and walked to the bed. He positioned his foot on the metal frame, shoving the steel casing wi th only a portion of his weight several feet across the room. The bed slid over the child underneath, revealing only part of his body. The traitorous emblem was unconcealed now although Gideon didn’t see it. He hadn’t needed to. He felt the white dragon presence as the heat rose to greet him. "What is this?" Gideon spoke in a monotone voice.
Kiri was in shock. She knew it was senseless to try and hide him from the beginning. She should have known. She should have dropped him outside the window. He would have had a better chance. Gideon’s sight went far beyond the eyes. She realized in that moment, not only was she going to be punished but Ashe was as good as dead. "I’m sorry Ashe." She sobbed out. The frightened tears fell now.
Ashe looked up from where he laid, paralyzed. Surely he was a goner. He didn’t know what to do.

"Ashe!? That name! Are you joking?" Gideon questioned sharply, his blind eyes widened unusually, as now he was the shocked one. As quick as he was, for all the power he had, putting it all together was easier said than done. He chuckled. "As old as I am, this is all really too much." He said. He stood there a second, motionless. Then after all the pieces of the puzzle snapped together he shrieked out a delayed reaction. "Hujin! Have you gone insane, bringing him here?!" he shouted at his niece. He grabbed the boy from the ground by his arm, sliding him across the floor and up to his feet.
"She didn’t. I came here on my own." He defended his friend. "It was my idea."
Gideon looked at the boy, sighed then knelt in front of him so that they would be at the same level. "Boy, do you realize the danger you’ve put yourself in?" Kiri’s uncle asked him. Ashe noticed this man’s eyes didn’t blink in the whole time he was speaking. It was strange and he was suddenly confused. It was almost as if the man was saying he would not cause him harm. He didn’t know how to answer. "A little…Nanashi told me I’d be killed if I left the screen." He replied respectfully.
Nanashi, Gideon repeated the name to himself, so that’s where he’s been hiding. He had so many questions. How had these two children met? Considering the history, it was really amazing.
He sighed. "Of course you would and still you came?" Gideon asked that instead. There was not enough time for other questions.
"I had to see Kiri." He said simply. Ashe turned his eyes from Gideon and looked over at the jet black haired girl who was looking down at the ground with her arms wrapped around herself.=2 0"I thought I’d never see you again, that you’d never come back." He explained. Her light blue eyes lifted, touching his. "I didn’t like what you said but I think I at least understand why you said it. I wanted to tell you I’m still your friend."
Kiri was surprised by his words. She felt a wave of warmth overcome her. She was forgiven. It was that simple. Ashe didn’t understand the emotion on her face. The tears still fell from those pretty eyes but she was smiling now. What a contradiction. "Idiot." She muttered. "You didn’t have to get yourself in trouble. I would have come for you eventually."
"No. I absolutely forbid it. You can never go back to that forest." Gideon cut in, despite the heartwarming conversation.
"Why?" she recoiled with daggers in her eyes, now moving her hands away from her body.
"It’s far too dangerous Kiri. Do you know how important you are…how important he is?!" the words fell out.
"What are you saying, Uncle?" she was frozen in thought, confusedly trying to wrap her mind around that last part. She noticed he didn’t use the words dangerous, evil, or unforgivable. He said important. Ashe seemed to have been just as mystified.
The irony of this moment, only Gideon knew. He broke out in laughter, the kind of laughter that is felt through one’s whole body. It was as though he hadn’t laughed in centuries. Both Kiri and Ashe blinked at each other with questions in their eyes then shifted their gaze back to the madman in their midst.
"I’m saying you’re a reckless troublesome girl. That’s what I’m saying." He finally sniffed back the undercurrent of uneasy emotions. Kiri could feel them. Her uncle seemed a bit unstable at the moment as though the frequency of his thoughts were jamming up, too many to process.
He was grappling with a serious question too. How do you explain to two children that it’s best to stay away from the very things they cared about the most? "Do you know what would have happened if Yoshi found you instead of me? He wouldn’t even think twice about killing you or worse and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it." He was clearly talking to the boy.
Before Ashe could say anything Kiri balked. "We should stop him. Ashe hadn’t anything wrong." Kiri argued, her tone intensifying now.
"Well, there’s the root of the problem. This doesn’t have anything to do with right or wrong." Gideon stood up. "He has the counsel behind him Kiri." As they debated, Gideon was thinking of a way to get the child out of the house unnoticed.
"I’m the successor. I should have a say!" She stated as a matter of fact, almost full of herself.
Gideon sighed again remembering just how difficult his niece was becoming. "Adjust your tone, old lady. You’re too young for such a voice, besides you’re not the mistress yet until you come of age." He explained, and even then, he thought, this would never be accepted. In the opinion of the counsel, this boy should have been killed along with his entire family, no matter what Gideon believed.
"Stay here. Neither of you move." Gideon said, exiting the room through the double doors as quietly as possible, leaving the two children alone.
Ashe was looking at the wooden floor, with Kiri’s eyes locked on his face. He looked up finally and grinned. "I guess there was no point in coming here then." He chuckled feebly. "We…can’t be friends. We’ll probably never see each other again." False acceptance mixed in with sadness was brimming in his voice. His smile turned downward. He was unable to fake it for long.
"Nonsense. We’re already friends. Nothing can change that unless you don’t want me anymore." She said, waiting for him to interject.
"Kiri, I don’t want you to get into trouble." He said moving toward her.
It was just one day. That’s all they’d known each other for but it was enough. "I won’t let them dictate who my friends are. I won’t let them take you away from me...not ever." She was resolved now. No matter what her uncle said.
"What about you?" she asked looking squarely into those eyes she never thought she’d see again. She extended her hand toward him.
He beamed. "I guess we’re friends then…for life." Taking hold of her tiny hand seemed natural, since she was offering it so willingly but the warmth of her skin surprised him. The astonishment lingered and deepened as she pulled him to her fully now, embracing his body. Their chests pressed up against each other, their hearts beating together. His eyes broadened at the sweet smell of her black hair. When he felt her soft cheek next to his, he’d realized, he’d never felt this before. He’d never touched this way. Nobody made of flesh and blood had ever hugged him. This was his first time.
They could hear the double doors open again. It startled them, pushing their bodies apart. It might have been their uncertainty in determining whether the abrupt entrance would be Gideon or some new person and20what that would mean. It also could have been the edgy feeling in their rumbling hearts and flushed cheeks. Something new was forming, they could sense it as their eyes caught then let go.
"The time has come, my little turncoats. Say goodbye, Kiri." Gideon said as he stealthily entered the room.
"Where are you taking him?" she sounded un-amused by his turncoat jab and protective of Ashe. Gideon noticed her tone change. This was only how he’d known her to be about her brother, Kavi. It confused her uncle. They couldn’t have known each other long enough for a bond that strong to form.
"Obviously back to Nanashi, beyond the screen." He answered, making both their hearts sink into their stomachs. "Here, wear this." Gideon eyed Ashe then handed him a blue and white cloak. "Kavi is about the same size. Use the hood. Yoshi will never even notice the difference." Gideon had come up with an idea to get him out of the house that didn’t require flinging him out of a second story window.
Kiri looked over at Ashe as he slipped the cloak over his pale, scrawny limbs. He tugged the hood up over his head easily then gazed at her briefly. She couldn’t see his face now, just the grey eyes she’d come to know but they disconnected with seemingly no trouble. She didn’t like it but she knew he had to.
Gideon put one hand on his shoulder. They walked together out of her room through double doors that shrank as Kiri turned. She’d twisted her body away from them just as soon as they’d gone. They’d made it out of the house safely. She waited by the window watching as they marched together in the direction of the dirt path. Gideon didn’t just leave him there. He entered the forest with him. They vanished behind the trees and Kiri imagined Ashe safely beyond the screen again. She wondered how long it would have to be this way for them. It was a premature thought but in a moment, standing there, she could see a possible future. Those limbs of his would grow year after year until he became a man. And the same image repeated in her mind over and over of his swift movement to mask his markedly well featured face behind some cloaked hood. It was a sinking, powerless feeling.

Ashe and Gideon walked about 30 feet into Nanashi before either one of them spoke. Kiri’s uncle finally took his hand off the boy’s shoulder. "I noticed you two never did say goodbye." Ashe ignored the remark, understanding well that he was searching for an answer to a question. Would they continue to see each other even after they’d been warned against it?
"Gideon." The boy called his name for the first time. The way he said it was somehow confident, straightforward, cutting through all the other pretenses. It pleased him. The corners of Gideon’s full lips curved, forming a wry smile. So much like the other man I knew once upon a time, he reflected. Gideon stopped. Ashe moved away from him, pacing forward for several feet then=2 0turned to face him. "There are things even Kiri doesn’t know about me…" he looked up into the haunting pale blue orbs. He’d come to trust this man just a little. It might have been the fact that he didn’t murder him upon finding him in his niece’s room. "I mean, not just about me but my parents. Right?" he was perceptive beyond his years but that was to be expected from a child like him, Gideon admitted inwardly.
"Kiri is the future mistress of this world but she’s also just a little girl. There are things she’s better off not knowing." Gideon confessed to himself how deceitful it sounded. "She’s a fiery one, my niece." He smiled proudly. "I give her just enough information to keep that fire lit. Too much and it might go out." He knew her better than anyone, better than Kavi in some respects. "She loves too deeply, so much that she takes everything on herself. You see how she feels about you now and you only know each other a short time. If she knew it all…well, I thi nk you can understand my position."
A chill rushed up Ashe’s spine. "How bad is it?" the truth, he meant. "About me and about my family?" he knew the answer to the question. He’d been warned to never leave this place -- he’d be killed. It was just then that he heard the winds of Nanashi pick up with a howl. "Would knowing everything really endanger her?" Ashe pressed. He really wanted the answers now but not if it risked Kiri’s life.
Gideon looked up at the trees and their moving leaves. The air was still gusting frantically around them. "I won’t tell him." The once pale blue orbs turned perfe ctly clear. The blast of air reversed as he lifted his arms. Ashe realized he was using some of his power to calm the feelings of the souls inside. "There’s no reason to get upset but understand my situation too. You should have summoned me. I was completely taken off guard." Gideon replied sounding annoyed but not enough to be too cutting with his words. Ashe was hearing a one sided conversation between his spirit mother and this man whose powers were apparently far beyond his imagination. His presence had grown as he emitted this stifling force.
"She is well…hidden…living with a family in Durit." He continued to answer questions.
Ashe stood silent, frustration building with each20sentence that fell out from Gideon’s lips. He clenched his fists. "Are you both kidding me!?" Ashe shouted. "Who are you talking about? You know each other?!"
Gideon seemed amused. "Of course we do. Who do you think brought them here?" he sighed then smiled. The chill from before was nothing to what Ashe felt now. That’s right. This man isn’t just Kiri’s uncle. He’s some sort of well known sorcerer and guardian in this world. "It’s really impressive. His character has grown strong. He reminds me of Kenji, both of them actually." Gideon’s white eyes flashed. He spoke the sentence with a hint of sadness and it stuck with Ashe. The realization that they were sharing information about his life, his parents, dawned on him in an instant. Nanashi had known more than she told him. For Gideon to inflect his tone like that, he’d also known them both. Kenji? Ashe thought. Was that my father’s name?
"You lied to me!" Ashe yelled into the sky. How was it even possible to hide everything from him? They shared a consciousness. They shared eight years and the weight of his pain, his questions.
"Was I the only one remaining from my family? Who were they?"
"I don’t have all the answers, Ashe. We don’t leave this place. We were only able to retain certain images through your father before he passed on. And we know about the people who guard the grounds here but we have limited histories stored."
"Limited histories?! You don’t have all the answers?! I only wanted one!" The gusting wind grew fiercer in response to Ashe’s charging voice. The sadness he had felt all along now had been altered in one sentence. It was anger, fury. Gideon’s blind eyes had waves of emotion flowing through them. His eyes blinked but once a minute, blind to the more physical but were more empathetic than one could imagine in this moment. He’d said too much. He felt Ashe now and stepped forward to grab hold of the child who was riddled with confusion and hurt. His long wild sun streaked hair in the moonlight now would have reminded Gideon of them again were his eyes able to grasp the spectrum of color here but nothing like the expression that followed across the child’s face. The expression of pain was Rashana’s, his mother. Ashe’s eyes of rage turned a milky clouded white, like Kenji, his father. Rather than see it, he could feel the similarities, mixed in to the air around him and it opened a wound he thought was long since healed.
"Don’t come near me!" Ashe snarled, looking at the man intently, only the feelings weren’t murderous by this point at all, just explosive and confused. It hadn’t taken long for Ashe to realize something strange was stirring inside him. "I don’t know what’s happening to me." The winds now whipped around Ashe’s wrists much like a moon orbiting a planet, only its speed was deadly. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. He struggled for every breath he took and the blood was draining from his face. He was starting to feel sick. When he fell to his knees the earth trembled beneath him, unsteadying even Gideon on his feet. Ashe’s eyes broadened,20flaring at Gideon’s well informed expression. "What was that!" he yelled in a panic, as if it had nothing to do with him. His emotions hadn’t stabilized at all. All these events were keying him up even more and the sickness he felt wouldn’t cease. Ashe looked at his hands. The spinning current of air around his wrists seemed to be generating energy. His hands were glowing with heat yet his skin wasn’t burning. "Gideon?!" This urge to throw up now was shivering through him as beads of sweat trickled down his forehead. His stomach was twisted with emotions.
"Ashe, calm your self and whatever you do…don’t…touch any thing." but it was too late. Ashe arched his body over the moonlit blades of grass. His hands were too hot. He wanted to be rid of this feeling, to cool his palms. "For a moment…please." He whispered. Just as his blazing skin found the soft earth to rest the surge of heightened temperature absorbed into the ground. There was a tremor and then he saw it , the healthy blades began to wither around him. The area surrounding his body began to dry up, shrivel. "Stop." He said, starting to sob. He lifted his hands, pointing them away from his own trembling body. "Stop I said." But it wouldn’t. Hastily, one inch by another the soil blackened until the area surrounding him transformed into a bed of hardened, wasted dirt. With uneven breath and a tear streaked face he let out a guttural scream in the direction of Gideon’s body. "What am I!!!!!?" The terror shrilled through him. Never in all the times he sought an identity had the question been more dire than right now.
He was exhausted. These emotions finally wrung him out. This mystifying body of his went limp. The roaring energy inside ceased. The illness passed over him and finally his heartbeat slowed. "What am I?" he sniffed out weakly in a whimper. Would Gideon tell him? Surely he knew.
At first Ashe seemed disgusted but it was more than that. He20was shocked too and horrified. The stunned eyes gave it away. He was frozen now since he would never have conceived of such a thing happening now, let alone by his own hand. Horrified, because there was no doubt this power was the noxious kind. Why this? He thought. One thing was certain Gideon didn’t seem to be surprised. It puzzled Ashe. Gideon stood in front of him devoid of the same questioning fear. His eyes met the boy’s with well formed pity. His movements still deliberate as usual, he took small, slow strides toward the boy and then his bare knees fell into the space of fetid dirt directly in front of Ashe’s body. Gideon touched the boys head with four of his fingers then moved them down the length of his soft cheeks. He grabbed both of the child’s hands in his, pressing them palm to palm as if in prayer, cradling them. He allowed the feelings of this young dragon kid to be absorbed into his own shell. It was his job but this was what he wanted to do even if he wasn’t so inclined by duty. "You are important to us and you are in danger if you leave this place. Can you understand now why?" the air around Ashe’s hands relaxed, the currents of wind dissipating into the invisible.
"That’s not an answer." Ashe balked, feeling his emotions calming as well.
Gideon sighed at this adult response. This boy was almost as bad as his niece. They seemed to have the same inward monologues at times that couldn’t be contained. They couldn’t even make believe. They weren’t children really anymore. They couldn’t be. Beyond their youthful, perceptive eyes there were the permanent yet indiscernible markings of adult warriors etched into both of their personalities. Persistent children they were with idealistic mottos maybe. The words ‘never die’ should be tattooed on their foreheads, for they never did give in to what felt like the placating sentences of adults. They saw beyond and pressed further even to their own ends. "I can’t disclose everything but I will enlighten you a bit. I supposed you’re owed that much." Gideon said. He’d been defeated.
"As you probably already know there was a war. In that unfortunate event, an an cient clan, the white dragons, were all exterminated, all but one." Gideon spoke and Ashe hung on every word. "You are the last of that powerful and formerly prominent family. It’s why you are so important." He emphasized ‘you’ but Ashe was more interested in a different word. "Exterminated?" he inquired with just that word. "I understand the war. Nanashi showed me parts of it but exterminated. What does that mean?" Ashe blinked his big grey eyes rapidly, looking up into Gideon’s guilt ridden face. How to explain? He couldn’t. Ashe had picked a horrible word to play innocent with.
"I’ve said enough for one day." Gideon sighed heavily again. "You children are too energetic. You’ve sprung too much on this old man." But he hadn’t looked old at all. They never did, he would suppose. Aging here was slow, even though the mind’s growth quickened. Ashe thought about Gideon’s words and then the most recent experience. That surge of power he felt. The things he’d done. The fact that he had that power to decay the soil beneath him, almost a life absorbing power was enough to send another chill down his back. It had to be evil. He had to be evil. Is that why the war happened?
"I’m evil." Ashe said. "That’s why, right? My kind were no good?" he struggled to make sense. He thought about Kiri’s favorite word, unforgivable. Maybe that’s what he was.
"Nonsense." Gideon said, rising to his feet. "You have a good heart. Your intentions are good. I can tell that much from your actions." He remembered the look on Ashe’s face when he saw what he was capable of. His first instinct was to protect Gideon. The horror in his eyes as he saw his own power because he didn’t know how to control it was only something a pure hearted child would feel. He wanted to stop it. He was scared of what it would do, understandably so.
"Gideon, you said Yoshi would have killed me but…Why didn’t you kill me?" There it was. It was so straightforward he almost wanted to embrace him. This boy was definitely his father’s son. Gideon looked at him with a wistful sadness. "I would never be able to forgive myself if I ever harmed even a hair on your head. You really don’t understand but I can’t blame you." He finished, knowing it was time to go. He wouldn’t say goodbye. He felt the pangs of guilt as he thought about having to leave him here but his duty superseded these feelings. He had their future to think of and that was more important.
"We have a deal, correct? You won’t act foolishly again. No wandering towards the mansion from now on." Gideon crossed his arms and a scowl spread across his face.
Ashe stood, preparing for Gideon’s departure. He could feel it and felt sad that the time had come. He just met him but he felt oddly connected to him. "You have my word. I won’t leave Nanashi." He said, resolutely.

"Excellent. Now hurry up and grow already. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side." Gideon said flickering away. It was too quick. Before he knew it, he was gone without even a goodbye. Ashe was alone again to reflect on the words of another vanished savior. He still wondered why Gideon hadn’t taken the opportunity to kill him, why he’d said that he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. There had to be a reason but for now, as most everything had been, the answer was lost

Chapter 4:
Vow
For some people, words like "forbidden", "impossible" and "never again" just didn’t hold the same influence over the heart. Kiri much preferred other more flexible phrases, for instance, "as you wish". It had a better sound. Complete silence was another favorite of hers. She’d take that over the incessant droning on of her elders. Unfortunately for her Gideon didn’t share in her taste and didn’t particularly care what she wanted either. She hadn’t wanted to hear the lecture that would undoubtedly be given once she received word that her uncle wanted to speak with her, nor was she looking forward to the utter disappointment she’d feel emanating from the source of complaint. However she respected him enough not to dodge his invitation to his home.
The grounds were not as large as hers but his taste was infinitely more impressive than her father’s. She stalked around the pebble stoned carriageway that led toward his mansion dutifully, up the white marble steps and through the doors of the Victorian house. Her home could hardly compare in terms of flavor. She was used to the bland antiseptic white walls, old wood and quiet colors. The instant one stepped into Gideon’s home there was a strong sense of affection. There was nothing mild or cold about the two-toned citron splashed walls of his foyer, where various paintings of vibrantly colored still scenes were hung. There were no people in these pictures, just oceans, mountains, empty paths always highlighted by the sun. She was sure this welcomed his guests effectively and lightened their mood.
As she walked up the staircase to the second floor and down the hallway toward his office she could feel the change in atmosphere as brightness turned into lusty russet red. It reminded her of autumn as the leaves turned. Again there were pictures along the wall, this time of people, some she’d never met but they looked happy, contented. Kiri smiled to herself. Even though the other rooms of his home were decorated in this contemporary fashion with eye-catching shades and there was no doubt the style had a mood altering effect, still, she anticipated the truth behind the door to his private den. She would be sent back in time again, a period she’d never seen with her own eyes, whenever she had to share this space with him. It amused her. She stepped in front of the door to his room and chuckled quietly remembering he was an avid collector of precious items, most often furniture of antiquity. The reality was he loved old, extinct symbols and designs the best. It articulated to perfection the very sentimental creature he really was. He had a favorite period for sure, probably because it was the time he was most happy, Kiri guessed with all she’d heard. It was what they called the "earthly European renaissance" time and she had to admit it was different from anything she’d seen so far. She shared her uncle’s taste, although she rarely admitted it.
She tapped twice on the dark wooden door of his most patronized hideaway. "Come in." he said, knowing full well who it was. After closing the door behind her quietly she took the necessary steps to reach the space in front of his mahogany empire style writing table. He sat, folding his arms over the top of it.
She stood in her uncle’s magnanimous presence, eyes bowed, hands crossed in front of her body waiting for the scolding. He sighed. "You don’t even bother to pretend you’re ignorant to why I’ve asked you here."
She unfastened her eyes from the floor and looked into his familiar face. "Why should I feign ignorance, uncle?"
"Because it helps an old man sleep at night." He said simply, looking straightaway, past Kiri. "If you acted for once like you have no idea what you’re doing is wrong then I’d feel like punishing you would do some good. In that case, I’d be teaching you a lesson. However, this way, I know there’s no hope for you." He explained, revealing his perverse thought process.
"Uncle, what can I do?" she asked as she normally did, bowing her head again. She really wished she could ease his mind. She knew he was referring to her continual disobedience, her inability to listen to his warnings about meeting with Ashe in the forest. It had been three years since he’d found out they even knew each other at all.
"Stop going there." It was one sentence but it was an impossible one. She didn’t even bother to respond. The quiet held. "Kiri, I know you don’t care about your self but think of Ashe. If that father of yours has you followed one day…" he trailed off thinking about what he him self had been doing. It was Gideon who’d been following her all this time, watching her disappear into the forest. He’d observe them on days that he could break away from his duties. If only they didn’t look so damn happy playing together, he thought.
"I am thinking of Ashe, by going there, uncle. He only has us, you know." She explained honestly.
"You mean ‘you’." He clarified.
"No. I mean ‘us’." she smiled knowingly. "Do you think I have no idea? You go there when you can and leave him clothes and books. You communicate with him."
Gideon’s face flushed unusually before digging his fist into the wooden desk. "That boy, I wrote him not to say anything."
"He didn’t but I noticed he was wearing a garment embedded with a prism emblem…Really? How dimwitted do you think I am?" she crossed her arms. "Why is it ok for you to do these kinds of things and not me?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
"I leave him things out of necessity Kiri. I don’t go there with the intention of staying." He defended himself. The thought had crossed his mind however. How he’d enjoy staying. Ever since he’d met him he’d reveled in a forbidden thought. How fascinating it would be to have Ashe as a pupil.
"I’m sure he could live without ‘Ways of Conditioning’ or ‘The Path to Power’ by Professor Gideon Karasuma." She held back a chuckle. "Admit it, old man. You can’t deny it any longer. I have you pegged." She accused with her eyes brightened with amusement once again.
Gideon sighed. He was defeated again by a 12 year old. What’s this world coming to if an elder can’t control a child? "Again, Hujin. I don’t stay and I won’t get caught."
"I won’t get caught either." She completely bypassed the first part of his statement.
"You can’t possibly know that. The reason I don’t get caught is because I don’t stay there until I’m done climbing trees and arguing playfully with the enemy." He used certain words to prompt her awareness. Kiri’s eyes flashed at the word enemy.
"He’s not…an enemy." She said and a hint of personal injury flickered in her eyes. The amusement was gone from them. He’d recognized the feeling. When he said it she almost felt as if she was being called the enemy instead. In the two years she’d been his friend, she’d somehow taken on his wounds.
Gideon himself was twisted with contradictory feelings. He was endeared to Ashe in the brief time he’d spent with him. He admitted this was partly due to his relationship with the white dragon boy’s parents, long since removed from this world.
"Fine, but are you okay with the possibility that your friend would be dead if you were caught? Don’t you think an alternate plan is worth the consideration?" Gideon wanted to protect them both and he’d realized maybe the way to convincing Kiri was giving her some incentive.
"What kind of alternate plan?" she asked slightly curious.
"You and I want the same thing. The truth is I think Ashe deserves to be free." He embraced the truth of his words finally. That was what he wanted ultimately. He decided not to deny it anymore.
"But what if I told you the only way to do it is to stay away from him…just for now…for the length of a few years?" He offered. He watched Kiri’s opposition to that idea flare in her body language and she started shaking her head with a resounding no. "I’m not saying never to see him at all, ever again. We’ll see him moderately…only together…until you come of age and we set my plan in motion." Once the last sentence was said her head held firm, her eyes perplexed.
"You’ve really thought of something?" she inquired earnestly, scanning his eyes for any hint of a lie.
"I have but in order for it to work you have to stop what you’re doing. It’s too great a risk." These words were for the good of their hearts. If somehow they got caught before he could put things together, the future was lost, he was sure of it.
"Do you trust me?" he questioned reading the wavering resolution in her eyes.
"I…I do." She said reluctantly and she was tired from having to keep this secret. She yearned for a world that accepted Ashe more than anything.
"Then the next time you see him tell him goodbye." Gideon urged her.
Goodbye was another word she didn’t like, especially not with regard to her only friend in the world. Say goodbye? She asked herself. Was it possible to do such a thing? She’d never thought of it but somehow the thought was crushing her insides. She lost the ability to breathe at the idea. The reaction liquefied in her eyes. Quiet tears streamed down her cheek. The sight did not give Gideon pause. "You must." He said and it was almost like his voice was being filtered through a horn. It echoed.
If it was for the good of a friend, why would she refuse the idea? She thought on her way back from Gideon’s home. She’d said all along that Ashe needed them. He was alone in the woods with only Nanashi and although she knew they took care of him as well as they could, loved him even, she didn’t think it was enough. He should have some normalcy, she reflected, but then recoiled at herself. There was nothing normal about meeting your friend in the woods in secret for the rest of your life. A normal child only saw ‘today’, only the present was enough but someone like Kiri was aware of the future, reminded of it every day since she had to be. Her future was set. They’d even begun talking about arranged marriage. It was on the horizon and it embarrassed her to think it would be perfect if she could marry her best friend, Ashe. Her cheeks became warm at the thought. If she ever mentioned it to him he’d probably laugh and call her an idiot. Not only was he probably revolted by the idea of being tied to her in such a way, she thought, but he’d make fun of her every chance he got.

Her father made mention of marriage once at the dinner table a month ago when two of the counsel members came to visit. She didn’t dare ask him directly what he meant by it. What she knew of marriage was very little. She only knew it was done to secure the ties between royal families. It seemed more like a business proposal to her at first. She would have to do it eventually, she knew. However she could hear the whispers of the chamber maids, the ones who’d been working in this house since she could remember. They were the female servants who dressed her and practically reared her, especially since her mother’s absence. The whispers were excited. ‘Can you imagine the little mistress a married lady?’ One said while dusting the living room furniture. ‘It was just yesterday Lady Setsuna brought her home.’ Another replied sounding nostalgic while she put away the silverware. ‘She’s sure to be a beautiful bride but I wish her father would stop talking about marrying her off to one of the counsel members.’ The former voice spoke again. ‘Yes, it would be a shame if she didn’t have a choice. Her mother didn’t marry for love and look at where she is now. Who knew the rich and powerful could be pitied?’ the reply was more muffled than the others but Kiri could hear it nonetheless. She’d asked the women both what it meant to marry for love. She’ll never forget the face they gave her. It was of sympathy, and very disconcerting. The more she thought about it the more she realized, it must mean someone she could see being with that would bring her happiness. It could only be one person.
"What’s with that face?" Ashe asked as he saw her approach. She’d walked all that way in deep thought, as if her body memorized the path. She could follow it now without thinking of it at all. Ashe threw down a branch then bent down again to find something else to play with. He was tampering with the invisible shield of Nanashi again, moving his hands through with ease to play with the endless rubble. He was always restless, bored. He looked up from the ground and into Kiri’s eyes. "I mean it. You’re face is weird."
"So what if my face is weird? Who told you to look at me anyway?" she huffed, folding her arms. She was getting irritated now. To think she was considering what it would be like to spend an eternity with this idiot boy.
"Who needs permission to look at someone? If you didn’t want to be looked at, don’t appear in front of me. Go home." He stood up with a tiny rock in his hand, in an offensive stance. She was in a bad mood today although he couldn’t understand why this time.
She walked past him. She wanted to go near the lake. The minute she walked past him he’d forgotten her sour attitude. "Where are you going?" he asked and then decided to just follow her as normal. He’d been used to her mood swings by now but it always made him uneasy and this time she wasn’t giving him the straight forward response he’d normally received from her. They usually had an ease of conversation. She told him the truth always. How could she do that now? She had so much to think about, some of it concerning him. Marriage and the possibility of Goodbye were the topics of choice, but she didn’t want to think of the latter. She’d need some time for that.
Once they reached the lake, he wasted no time, arching his arm sideways throwing the pebble into the water. Kiri watched it disrupt the stillness and she smiled. A thought caught her off guard. How much like the pebble, Ashe was. He’d disrupted her world, as small as he seemed and he had no idea. Gideon’s words played over in her mind. "Then the next time you see him tell him goodbye." But she couldn’t bring herself to do that right now.
"Want to take a swim?" he asked with an eager smile. "It’s hot today." He was right. It was definitely the kind of weather for a dip in the lake. She could feel the hot sun on her bare skin. It was even being absorbed through the cotton summer dress she was wearing, but she it was impossibility. She could feel her aching abdominal muscles. The symptoms had already begun. Another thing Ashe hadn’t noticed was the fact that his little friend was starting to become a woman. It was easy to miss. Though she grew taller, this change was inward. Her internal organs were maturing, preparing for the inevitable. "I can’t today." She said reluctantly. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to.
"Why not?" he asked, disappointed.
"I don’t have anything to wear for swimming." She answered him using a feeble excuse.
"Wear what you always wear, your underclothes. They’ll be dry by the time you go home." He said, moving closer to her. Normally she’d worn just a very light tank top under her clothes but she couldn’t do that anymore. She’d recently been introduced to the bra now and couldn’t cover up enough for her liking. He lifted his hand and slowly moved it through the screen to the other side, so to be tangible enough to make effectual contact with her dress as he pulled the wide shoulders of her dress down with his fingers. He’d mastered this technique at will so that he could interact with Kiri in the past three years. Instantly he noticed the thin tight straps hugging her skin. He was confused. He tugged on one of the straps and was surprised when it snapped rigidly at her skin.
"Ow, you idiot! What’s wrong with you?" she moaned angrily, pushing him away then pulling the fabric of her dress up again, covering her shoulders. "I said I can’t swim today. I can’t wear what I used to. My body…is changing." She said in a low tone now, embarrassed.
"I’m sorry." He said, pulling his hand back into the veil of Nanashi. He walked to her side instead now. "I didn’t know." He continued, finally turning his face away. Obviously it was a lie. If only she was able to see his cheeks now, blushing at the thought. He’d known because Nanashi told him during one of the most uncomfortable conversations he’d ever had to date. He wished to forget. The ‘birds and the bees’ she called it, he sighed at the thought. He didn’t believe it. The things she’d mentioned, how could they possibly happen to Kiri? It was almost painful for him to imagine what had been described. Thank god he wasn’t born a woman was all his brain could muster. The tenderness, the bleeding, he held back a sound as he winced, then gulped hard. This was happening to her? He wondered.
Tender developing breasts? He looked over at Kiri’s body now, realizing there were albeit the tiniest bumps and curves where there used to be none. When he lifted her or they played in the recent months surely he felt the difference especially on the days he’d dared to leave the screen briefly, like today. When she’d fall or he’d been inclined to touch her. And yes, there were times like that although he didn’t necessarily understand why. Ever since that day she hugged him in her room, he craved the feeling of being embraced. His pride didn’t allow him to ask for it directly. She’d probably think he was crazy or perverted so he couldn’t necessarily initiate a hug since then. However, even if it was just her hand, he’d like the tingling warmth it brought to his senses. "I’ll try not to touch you." He strained at the thought.
"It’s not that you can never touch me again it’s just right now…" she had to explain or else he might think the worse of her.
"Say no more…please?" He pleaded, closing his eyes briefly.
"What’s with you now? What are you imagining? Now you look weird." She charged with curiosity.
"Nothing." He replied, realizing maybe this was what was bothering her and he could rest his mind at ease that it wasn’t a more serious issue stressing her out. He was well aware of the complex mind harbored under those long black locks of hair. That pretty face he’d come to adore was deceiving. She thought too much about her future.
"Hey Ashe, I have a question for you." She started, seemingly relaxed now. She turned her body and headed to a nearby tree to sit against it. He waited, turning his face in her direction. She almost called the questioning to a halt entirely when her eyes caught by accident with grey eyes that always seemed to make her weak. Those eyes, she wondered, why did they make her heart beat faster every time she looked into them? She looked down and away. "What is it?" he asked curiously, noticing her apprehension.
"Marriage…what do you think about it?" she said stuttering over the question a bit. He blinked at her, seemingly puzzled then looked away from her face in thought. "I…don’t think about it." He answered honestly then pointed to himself. "Thirteen years old if you remember. And the way I’m going, I figure I might never have to think of it." He picked up another pebble, his restlessness going into hyper drive as the topic would seem to progress.
"But let’s say you had to think about it, 13 or not?" she asked and he knew with her tone it was something she was being burdened with again. He sighed in her direction. From puberty to matrimony, it was a little too quick for all these issues at once. Why would she have to think of something like this now?
"My father has started thinking of…well looking to secure…he’s mentioned…about me getting married." She stuttered as she went along. "You’re getting married?!" the shock of it shivered through him. He didn’t know much about it but did they really start at thirteen? He was aghast. "Well, not yet…but he’s getting things prepared for when I am old enough, probably when I’m 18." She explained.
"Five years." He was lost in thought now, imagining his friend married. Honestly he didn’t even know what to imagine. What had a marriage ceremony entailed? What did it mean? "I don’t want to." She said disturbing Ashe’s thoughts. "It’ll be someone I probably don’t even know." She smiled nervously. When she got like this he knew the smile was a lie. She didn’t want to cry and there was only one way to get her mind off of it. "Then…don’t." he said as if it was just that simple.
She rolled her eyes. "Everything with you is so easy isn’t it? I wish I could be you sometimes. ‘So, you don’t want to get married? Then don’t.’" she shrugged her shoulders exaggeratedly, imitating his cavalier regard for the situation she was in. "You know I can’t disobey my father." Ashe’s head snapped in her direction. "Is that so?" he asked her, one eye brow arching as his eyes flash to hers. Then his grey orbs disconnected completely. He turned slightly. "Since when?" abruptly he squatted, knees bent and pointing away from her, the balls of his feet were forced to hold all his weight now. He reached down with one hand, finding a small, anomalous piece of crystallized rock mixed in with the rest of the other unvarying debris, normally black stones.

It was intriguing how depending on which way the crystal was positioned under the light, the color altered. He smiled, respecting how flexible it was, but it hadn’t distracted his train of thought too much. "I really don’t know a Kiri that can’t disobey her father."
And then she understood. She’d always said she couldn’t defy her father but that wasn’t really the case now, was it? As proof, she was here in Nanashi wasn’t she, making nice with the dangerous white dragon boy? She’d been lying for years now. It was just a classic, conditioned response. Ashe knew it to be a predictable answer down to the minute. He’d heard it before, along with other phrases that weren’t true to her character. She didn’t really believe Ashe was evil. The spirits of Nanashi were kind and there was absolutely nothing wrong with giving a thirsty dog some water.
However, there was one undeniable fact Ashe hadn’t realized. He didn’t know how much of a struggle it truly was for her. Had Ashe not been in the forest of Nanashi two years ago, the pressure of it all would have forced her to run away or something worse; she might have broken under her father’s hands. Had he forgotten that? Or had he ever really known that Ashe’s existence gave her the courage to be herself. She could say and do what she truly felt without guilt only in his presence, or only for him, but there were times where he father’s training made her react routinely. Why was that? Again, Gideon’s voice resounded in her mind. ‘The next time you see him tell him goodbye.’ I can’t! She thought now more forcefully, rejecting the sound of it with her mind as her eyes closed tightly. There was no way she’d be able to do it.
What was this hold Ashe had over her? "When it comes to you I’ll probably never obey my father." She spoke after a long silence. It was selfish, she knew. "I wish you didn’t have to go against your family for me. I wish it didn’t have to be that way…for your sake." He said thoughtfully, rising to his feet now. He hated the pain in her eyes, the guilt over every action she took. His consideration over her feelings was conveyed clearly in his expression. She could feel his sentiments from where he stood.
"Don’t…" she started. If anyone would suffer from this it would be him. It’s true the thought of leaving him was unbearable but what if he didn’t exist anymore? That would be far worse for her to imagine. "Don’t think about me. You’re the one who would lose the most. You’d lose everything if we’re ever found and yet, you let me come here."
"Of course, we’re friends…" he smiled over at her. "For life, remember?"
"No…not just for life…but for ever." She whispered too low for him to hear. "Still, it’s a very big risk. I’m starting to think it’s too much of a risk. I shouldn’t…" come here anymore, she finished the sentence in her mind. The truth was she was beginning to believe it was a little bit more than friendship for her. He was more like family. Although she could never see him in the same light as Kavi, as a little brother, the feelings were just as strong and he took up more space in her mind. She thought about him all the time. Ashe was her first crush. He was the first time she’d felt this unconditional feeling about anyone outside of her family. So, shouldn’t she do for him what she would do for her brother? Sacrifice, the happiness she felt in exchange for his safety.
Yes, that’s exactly what she should do. "I think I need to say goodbye to you." She said, now it was loud enough for him to hear it. His eyes widened and he found her. She smiled that nervous smile she used whenever she was trying to hide what she was feeling. "Goodbye?" he scrutinized the word. There wasn’t enough time to comprehend why but then he already knew somewhere inside him this might have to happen.
"Really?" he asked without thinking, his face solemn. His heart started beating faster. He felt a squeezing at the center of his body. Fear, desperation and sadness washed over his soul. The rapid thumping, he knew it was because this heart of his was trying to prove it could keep moving without her by his side. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing back the salty wetness. "Kiri, if it’s for my sake…" his voice cracked as he stepped forward toward her in her seated position against the tree. She noticed with her keen senses the vibration of his heart from where he was, how it moved differently now from before. It confused her. It was almost like she was feeling it right along with him. She couldn’t tell if it was her own powers, absorbing his feelings empathically or her own as her heart started pounded with the same ferocity. She’d never felt it so intensely. It felt like, like how she felt at the thought of never seeing his face again. Was it possible he felt the same way as she did?
"For today…" she stopped him with her tense grin in tact. He relaxed at that, but not enough. "What did you think I meant? I need to say goodbye just for today at least." She couldn’t quite go all the way with her farewell and he seemed unable to recover completely from the sound of this. It didn’t sound like their typical nightly parting.
She stood up; moving her eyes, fixing them on her shaky hands as they nervously brushed the sticky soil that had attached itself to her dress unwittingly. She was afraid to look. When she did, she noticed the unspoken anguished emotion behind deep set eyes, the grey light in them that always whispered to her. "I want to give you something tomorrow." She said as she pretended to only become aware of setting sun now, in this unbearable moment.

"Give me something? Why tomorrow?" he asked curiously. He was still suspicious.
"…Because I don’t have it today of course. Tomorrow…then." She answered. She was pretending, just like she’d done earlier, when she couldn’t follow through on separating from this boy. It wasn’t even a goodbye, just a weak promise of it and his face…what was it? What was that emotional reaction he’d had at the sound of her pretend farewell? She’d never really thought he’d feel the same as she did yet the thought of it scared her. She didn’t have to head home but her heart wasn’t strong enough to bear the weight of his piercing gaze. She turned, disconnecting from him. Before he knew it he was staring at her back as the distance between them became larger with each quickening step until she was running.
"Kiri?" he whispered with a questioning stare. He couldn’t figure out what was bothering her or why the thought of her leaving now was almost painful. What he did know was that he didn’t want her to leave like this. Something was unsettling him. "Kiri!" he raised his voice. The sound of it startled her, stopped her dead in her tracks. His voice was demanding. She’d very rarely heard that tone. "What’s with you? You’re acting strange." He said still staring at her back. "I’d really hate to have to break my promise to Gideon to go looking for you, so please, before you leave, tell me what’s wrong." He said. Even though he was pleading, it sounded more like a respectful request. The concern he carried for her in his voice was the very thing that broke her silence.
"Marry me." She whispered softly. She turned quickly, now facing him.
"What did you say?" he asked baffled.
"Marry me!" She demanded now.
His brilliant eyes were still as stones as he stared speechlessly in her direction. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t been this silent since he before met her.
"Kiri…we’re only kids. You shouldn’t even be thinking about this. You have 5 years." he rationalized her request. All along what had been bothering her was this threat of being married off.
"Yes, I’m just a kid but I’ll still be a kid in 5 years and that won’t stop him. He’s going to promise me to some stranger, Ashe." She knew he was right. They were only children. She also knew it was impossible to officially marry him but the fear inside had made it so that fact didn’t matter. She wanted him to know if given the choice which one she’d make. She feared some possible future might swallow her up and quiet her heart. In 5 years who knew what would happen? All she had was the present to make all her feelings known. Ashe’s heartbeat along with Gideon’s words had woken her up to that. She never wanted to let go. He made her happy. She could be herself with him.
"By then things might be different for you. You might want to marry the stranger." He interrupted her thoughts, his eyes closing at the thought of her with someone else. For some reason that thought bothered him.
"They won’t. I won’t." she promised. His eyes opened at the sound of her trembling voice. "Things won’t be different for me at all. I’ll only want you by my side." She finally confessed whole-heartedly.
"You’re my best friend, Ashe. If I try to think about spending my life with someone the only person that makes sense is you." Her pale blue eyes shimmered as they filled with tears.
"Kiri." He whispered her name unhappily, the lines of his forehead tightened and then relaxed in thought. "Even…if I did want to marry you…5 years from now, 10 years from now you know we couldn’t. Your father would never allow it and Gideon would probably have a heart attack."
"Ashe." She moved closer to him. She realized these were the kind of thoughts he would always have, being kept hidden in this forest, forbidden to enter normal society. It’s the thing that bothered her most. She wanted to comfort him. She reached out to touch his face but her arms slipped right through him. She recoiled, staring at her empty hands then up at him, into the eyes muddled with sadness. "You remember now, don’t you?" he asked her honestly. "I’m just a ghost, an enemy and you don’t even know the worst part."
"What are you saying? Worst part of what?" she questioned him.
"…the worst part about me." His eyes weren’t sad anymore, now they were resolute. "Have you ever asked Gideon about why I’m in this forest? The truth about my kind?" he inquired. Kiri understood, somehow she’d missed this part, the part where he’d resigned himself to a fate, like he deserved it.
"Gideon believes as I do and I don’t care what ‘the truth’ is. My father and everyone else is wrong about you." She responded with pure hearted conviction.
"I’m not so sure." This was the part he’d tried not to think about. If he’d pushed away all thoughts of a normal future he was capable of forgetting the questions of whom and what he was. He preferred that. The moment he started thinking of what he may not be able to have, he was reminded of the day with Gideon in the forest, the decayed soil that quivered beneath his hands.
"The only things that define you are your actions. My uncle told me that and I’m saying it to you now although I can’t believe I have to…or is it…that you’re just trying to get out of marrying me." She said, as if the notion was possible.
Ashe started laughing. "Listen to yourself Kiri, still talking crazy. We can’t get married. No one would allow it."
"Maybe not officially, in the eyes of the Amiculum law but…" she looked around at the forest surrounding them. "In this world, with Nanashi as witness, we can." She said. "It’s the only place that matters." It was true. This was their world. "Of course, only if you want to." She finished her thought then looked up at him. He smiled at how content she seemed by the idea. She really wasn’t giving up on this.
"What does being married mean exactly?" he asked innocently.
She hadn’t expected that question although she should have. She realized he probably knew less about it than she had. She blushed immediately. "It means we promise our souls to each other…I think." She was making it up as she went along by this point.
"Promise our souls? You think? Well, if that’s all then…" he rolled his eyes at the way she trivialized such a profound oath.
"Well if it’s too much for you then fine." She said twisting her body away from him. Suddenly she felt a warm hand grab hold of her arm. She looked down, noticing the grip he had on her now.
"It’s not." He said. "Not for me, but do you honestly know what this means, Kiri?"
"I think I know what it means more than you do." She should. She made it up.
"I’m serious." He looked at her solemnly, pulling her to face him once more. He wouldn’t let go of her arm even know. "Don’t be stupid about it." He urged her. "It means no matter what I am, you accept me, forever."
"I accept you, no matter what." She smiled as those words spilled effortlessly from her lips. "And it means no matter what, our souls are bonded. You are by my side, forever."
He smiled at the sound of that. There was no one he’d rather be tied to.
"…Forever." With one word he vowed his soul.